


Unexpected

by Reyka_Sivao



Category: YuYu Hakusho
Genre: Angst, Character Development, Complete, F/M, Het, Romance, Six Fighters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-11
Updated: 2012-08-11
Packaged: 2017-11-11 22:52:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/483761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reyka_Sivao/pseuds/Reyka_Sivao
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time he met her, he said he had fallen in love. He didn't mean it…then. Shishiwakamaru/Genkai. Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Silveropoly](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Silveropoly).



> Story written for the Secret Coconut, a fic exchange promoted by the community Saint Seiya Super Fics Journal. Many thanks to the admins who put on this lovely event, my recipient Silveropoly for the excellent prompt, and especially my wonderful beta Graphospasm and early reviewers The Countess of Monte Cristo and Stardust Imaginings, for giving me the nerve to go through with this.  
> (And to those who saw it there first, I've divided up the chapters differently.)
> 
> Continuity: English anime (set in the US)

It had all started while he was training under her.

Well, no. That wasn't true.

It had all started the first time he had fought her, at the Dark Tournament. He could admit when an opponent had been brilliant…and she had been, no question. His (rather grudging) admiration for her tactics, combined with his first good look at her younger form…well, Shishiwakamaru had been smitten (both figuratively and very much literally).

But he'd managed to convince himself that it was just a foolish moment, probably brought on by being hit too hard on the head.

 _That_  wasn't the hard part.

The hard part was dealing with the aftermath.

Shishi had spent years carefully cultivating his image—for he knew that winning the Dark Tournament was as much about making an exciting show as it was about raw strength.

Not that he was  _weak_ , of course. He had to back up the legend with something…but the legend was still the most important thing.

Or at least, it  _had_  been, before she ruined everything.

Now, most of his fans—fair-weather fans!—had abandoned him for better prospects, all because he had been beaten by the most powerful human psychic of demon legends. How fickle.

At least he hadn't lost  _all_  his fans. He still had some, enough to build on again. He could still turn this story his way, the fearless champion turned underdog, only to beat the odds and rise again…yes, that would do nicely. His erstwhile fans would love him, and come flocking back to him…

His thoughts drifted back to the Tournament, as he tried to spin the story to his favor in his mind. The entire thing was burned into his memory, so it wasn't exactly hard.

Well, except the part about spinning it in his favor. That was hard. Why had he made such an idiot of himself?

The most mortifying thing he had said rang across his ears, and he cringed.

_I think I may have fallen in love._

Idiot. Why had he said that? That one was going to be hard to explain. Besides, she was  _definitely_  not his type.

_If things had turned out differently for us…_

How in either world could it have turned out differently? Even disregarding  _everything_ else, she was  _human_.

… _and if you looked like this all the time…._

An  _old_  human. She couldn't even take on her younger form anymore, at least not at will.

… _we could have been together, once._

That part was  _definitely_  the blow to his head talking. He'd blacked out right after.

_Aren't I a lucky one?_

Well, almost right after. Too bad it hadn't been a few seconds sooner. Then he wouldn't have her sarcastic retort stuck in his head.

It annoyed him.

It really shouldn't. Why should what she thought of him bother him? Her opinion didn't matter.

He didn't want to admit it to himself, but the fact that she hadn't taken his words as a compliment bugged him. He was young, and attractive, and any girl would be lucky to have him, so he couldn't stand it that any female wouldn't be honored to have his interest. Seriously, wasn't  _he_  the one who was above  _her_  league?

Shishiwakamaru viciously kicked an undeserving rock that found itself a little too close to being in his way.

He was not going to think about  _that_  anymore. No, he was going to find something to fight, preferably in the presence of at least a few members of his fanclub. That always improved his mood enormously.

It was always pleasant when people gave him the respect he was due.

* * *

Shishi sheathed his sword with a flourish, having just defeated yet another opponent without even breaking a sweat.

Dammit.

What was the point?

He'd always thought that it was his goal to effortlessly fight whomever he desired, to prove his greatness to the world.

But now that he had fought many opponents with ease, he didn't see the point. It was just…empty.

Where was the rush? The challenge? Where was the satisfaction of effort having paid off?

And no matter how many of these weaklings he overpowered, nobody was watching anymore. Not really. This was all old hat—he had already  _done_  all this. His next big step had been the Dark Tournament, and…well.

There were still opponents who were considerably more powerful than him, to be sure. But challenging any of them would be suicide, and Shishiwakamaru had no desire to die an untimely death before he could meet his destiny.

"Not bad."

Shishiwakamaru turned, confused. Not a fangirl—or fanboy, by the voice—and certainly not anyone looking for a fight…

"Kurama?"

The fox inclined his head.

Shishi was even more confused. Why was he here? As far as he could recall, they hadn't exchanged two words during the Dark Tournament, and their teams hadn't exactly parted on the best of terms. No, that wasn't quite true—Suzuka had given Kurama the fruit of the Previous Life Tree, which had helped him win several pivotal battles. But that was  _Suzuka_ , whom Shishi hadn't even seen for months. Their partnership hadn't really lasted past the Dark Tournament.

"What so you want?" He sounded rather petulant. He should be more careful about that. It wouldn't do to have years of careful image-building crumble with a few seconds of temper.

"I've been looking for you. You see, I wish to train six demons as my personal team under Yomi."

Well then.

"And you didn't have anyone better to ask than someone your team beat in the Dark Tournament? Don't you have  _friends_  you can ask?"

"For various reasons, none of my friends is…eligible. So, yes, I wish to ask our surviving opponents from the tournament."

"Hmph."

"It would involve a period of several moths' training under the psychic Genkai, and then moving to Gandara."

Shishiwakamaru's rejection died on his lips…and he wasn't quite sure why.

He really shouldn't want to see the woman who had defeated and humiliated him, much less  _train_ under her. Still, it would offer him a unique opportunity to gain strength, and then he could return to seeking his destiny as the greatest fighter ever to live…

_Aren't I a lucky one?_

Shishi ground his teeth. Would it really be worth it?

Kurama stood patiently, waiting for him to consider his options.

She was incredibly annoying. There was no getting around that. She would mercilessly mock people, and worse, she had the power to back up her threats. To someone as concerned with status as Shishiwakamaru, that was intolerable.

Still…

If he could bite the bullet and let her train him…much as it pained him to admit it, there was a great deal he could learn from her.

_Aren't I a lucky one?_

No. No way. There was no way he would submit himself to such indignities.

"Have you decided?"

"I'm in."

Dammit.

* * *

"So, dimwits, I hope you're ready for this. I'm still not entirely sure how fox-boy convinced me take on such a hopeless project, so I'm not in the best of moods. Keep up, shape up, or ship out. Choose the latter, and I'd be more than happy to help you out the door."

Shishiwakamaru ground his teeth, listening to that gravelly voice.

What the hell had possessed him to say yes to this idiotic proposal? Why hadn't he immediately corrected himself, telling Kurama that what he'd actually meant to say was  _hell no, you'd have better luck asking Makintaro_?

Why the hell was he still  _here?_

"I hope you weren't expecting much in the way of a welcome speech. Welcome to Hell, kids."

Wonderful.

And worse, he seemed to be the only one who wasn't excited at this prospect.

Suzuka clapped him on the shoulder. "Isn't this a glorious opportunity, my friend? Training under the renowned psychic Genkai, and then serving immediately under one of the Three Kings of Demon World? Why, by the next Dark Tournament, we'll probably be too  _strong_  to  _compete!_ "

"Aye, an' I be lookin' forward to a nice rematch with Urameshi!" said Jin, who was sort of bouncing in midair.

"Indeed, and I would be more than happy for a rematch with Kurama someday, under more fair circumstances," added Touya.

"I'm going to learn to use yo-yos with my  _feet!"_  shouted Rinku.

"WILL YOU SLACKERS GET GOING?" yelled Genkai, throwing a rock in the general direction of the group.

It hit Shishiwakamaru on the back of the head.

He stifled a groan.

_The hell? I wasn't even talking…_

* * *

She wasn't kidding about the training being hellish.

Shishi soon forgot what it felt like to go to bed without being utterly drained of his energy and sore in muscles he hadn't even known he had.

And the food sucked on toast.

No, if that were true, he would gladly have eaten the toast.

So why hadn't he left yet?

It wasn't like he couldn't. She'd made it more than clear that they could leave any time it got to be too much for them.

Which made it a challenge.

Shishi glared at the woman from behind her back.

_Aren't I a lucky one?_

Oh, he'd show her who the lucky one was!

Some distant part of his mind complained that that made no sense, but Shishi was enjoying his determined resentment far too much to care.

He glanced over again, watching as she yelled at Chu, telling him all the different ways he was screwing up.

He'd show her.

Shishi punched the training dummy again, and then kicked it.

He'd show her he wasn't as weak as she thought. One day, she'd acknowledge his superiority, his  _greatness!_

He glanced over again.

"How the hell do you expect to land a solid hit if you can't even  _walk_  straight?"

"It's called drunken boxing!  _DRUNKEN_  boxing! 'Ow the hell else am I supposed to do it, crazy sheila?"

Shishi returned his attention to the dummy, and spent the rest of the training session muttering to himself in his head.

* * *

Unfortunately for him, some of that muttering made the mistake of escaping his brain by way of his mouth.

" _Wasting time?"_

The instant he heard the incredulous tone in her voice, Shishi regretted saying anything.

"You of all people…get over here and let's see how you fare  _without_  your fancy sword!" She smiled…not exactly a reassuring sign. "Hell, I'll even go easy on you and pretend to be an unpowered opponent—just try and fend me off without your pretty sword."

Before he could blink, she was bearing down on him from above with a war cry.

Shishi stumbled, trying to avoid her and get into a position to counterattack.

"It doesn't matter how powerful your artifact of doom or whatever is, if you don't have it on you when you need it. And if you think you always  _will,_ you're a bigger dimwit than I thought."

Hell, she wasn't even winded!

Shishi tried to call on his sword training— _feel your opponent's movements,_  his old sword teacher had said—but without a hilt in his hand, he was completely off balance.

"HAH!"

The second war cry was the only warning he got before being kicked halfway across the courtyard.

"And that's why being proficient in the basics in important," said Genkai, hands clasped behind her back. "Anyone else care for a demonstration?"

Dammit.

* * *

Shishi was fuming.

Who did she think she  _was?_

She'd humiliated him— _again—_ just because he'd dared to question her teaching method! She'd made him look like both an idiot  _and_  a weakling, just because—!

…just because what?

Just because he'd been thoroughly trounced by an elderly human woman who wasn't even using her spirit energy?

Dammit.

He really  _was_  that weak.

Damn it all, why?

Why had she had to go and break down his comfortable illusions of greatness? He'd been perfectly happy relying on the power of his sword and the adoration of his fans. If only he'd never faced her at the Dark Tournament, he'd still have all that!

 _Until someone else defeated you,_  whispered one small part of his mind.  _Someone who might not have been willing to leave you alive on the arena floor._

 _I'd have defeated anyone else,_  griped the rest of Shishi, and he went back to punching the dummy.

* * *

Things only went downhill from there.

Of  _course_  he couldn't simply be left to sulk in peace.

No, now he was forced to work with the thrice-damned woman who'd ruined  _everything._

"What the hell is wrong with you, moron? That's the most half-assed attempt I've seen yet, and that's saying something!"

She was trying to get him to focus his energy into a punch, but he couldn't seem to work up more than a flicker.

"Why the hell should you care?" sulked Shishi. "I'm nothing but a 'half-assed dimwit'."

For a moment, she froze.

"Why should I  _care?"_

Her eyes went distant for an instant, and then she was on him like a wild tiger.

"You  _are_  a half-assed dimwit! But I hadn't taken you for a  _quitter,_  too!"

Shishi stood stunned. What the hell?

Genkai's hand clenched, and she spun away.

"Suit yourself, prettyboy. If you don't want to try, that's your business. You know where the exit is."

With that, she stalked off to find a more attentive student, leaving Shishi staring at her retreating back.

* * *

Shishi stared down the steps carved into the mountain.

She was right—he  _did_  know how to find the hidden portal that could take him back to Demon World. Hell, he  _wanted_  to go back!

So…why wasn't he already there?

Shishi rubbed the heel of one palm into his forehead, trying to quell the whirling thoughts inside.

Dammit, he was  _not_  cut out for introspection.

Ok, it was the opportunity to gain some actual strength, away from his weapons. That was why he was still here.

So, if that was it….then what the hell  _else_  was bothering him?

Well, the fact that he'd had to admit to his own weakness still bothered him. That was another part of it.

But it wasn't really  _it._

Shishi went over the interaction again, trying to figure out what exactly it was.

She'd insulted him—par for the course. He'd griped back—that should have been normal.

But…it hadn't been.

He'd complained that she shouldn't care whether he put any effort in, and…

Her eyes.

That was what was bothering him.

For just an instant, he had seen something in her eyes—and, as he thought about it, he slowly realized that it was something strangely…familiar.

He couldn't explain it, couldn't fathom  _why_  that look had crossed her face, but there it was. He was having a hard enough time even simply describing it, but if had to pick a word, there was only one he could choose.

Emptiness.

* * *

Shishi went back.

He told himself firmly that he wasn't going to give them what they obviously wanted. No, he would show them what he was made of.

So he slipped back, finding the other five just gathering for lunch, and hoped to all three worlds that no one had overheard the exchange…and trying not to imagine Genkai's reaction.

* * *

Lunch  _should_  have been a welcome relief from such an uncomfortable topic of thought, but unfortunately for Shishi, the topic of conversation during that particular lunch was easily a close second in terms of discomfort.

Why the hell did they persist in rehashing their defeats at the Dark Tournament?

"An' then he jus'  _let_  me punch 'im in the face with me Tornado Fist, jus' so 'e could get in a kick! Crazy one, tha' Urameshi kid." Jin shook his head in admiration.

Shishi nearly shook his own head. Who  _admires_  someone for trying to  _kill_  them?

"Well, at least you got an actual  _fight_ ," miffed Suzuka, picking at his plate. " _I_  just got my face pounded into the rink." He glanced over his shoulder, rubbing his face, but Genkai was nowhere near.

"Hey! Don't feel too bad, mate, we  _all_  lost our fights, you know," said Chu.

"Hey! I won _my_  fight!" complained Rinku.

"You fought  _Kuwabara_!"

"I fought Kuwabara too," added Shishi, unable to resist the temptation to one-up  _someone,_  even if it was the child in their group. Pathetic. "I won in about two seconds, while it took _you_  about twenty minutes."

"Aye, you won all right, right before gettin' beat by Genkai with yer  _own energy!_ "

Shishi crossed his arms, lips tightening at the jab.

_I can't afford to waste my own energy, so I borrowed some of yours…_

Greedy old—

"Has everyone forgotten that Kuwabara defeated Elder Toguro?" asked Touya, pulling Shishi back to the present.

"Eh, true, that," said Chu. "Wasn't he the  _only_ one he beat? Odd fellow, he is."

"Nah, he also beat Risho," said Jin. "An' good riddance, I say."

"You wanna know what's  _really_  odd?" asked Rinku. "That the only person on Urameshi's team to lose their fight in the finals was  _Kurama!_ "

That drew some laughter at the expense of their absent leader, but Shishi wasn't listening. He tuned out the rest of the conversation, focusing on his plate instead.

"Ugh, this is nasty," he muttered, picking at whatever the substance on his plate was supposed to be.

"I'm sorry," came Yukina's quiet voice from behind him, making him jump. "I'm not used to working with human food.

"Well, I hope you improve if  _I'm_  going to be eating it this whole time."

Yukina bowed her head. "I shall do my best."

"Good," said Shishi, turning back to his plate.

* * *

After lunch, of course, it was right back into training.

And of  _course_  it couldn't be something solo. No, apparently she'd planned a  _group_  exercise for that afternoon.

Fate's one bit of leniency came from the fact that Genkai said nothing about anything happening earlier.

"Ok, this is how this is going to work: I'm going to try to get the flag. You all are going to try and stop me. I attack whoever stands in my way. Got it?"

With various noises of various levels of enthusiasm, they acknowledged that they did, readying their stances in the formation they had hastily cobbled together. Actually, it wasn't really a formation at all—they were all just standing where they'd found themselves.

Genkai scanned them with a critical eye, and then closed her eyes and muttered a long string of words that involved a great many "dimwits", most of them "hopeless", and something about teamwork being just as valuable a trait to cultivate as constant suspicion.

Finally, with one last roll of her eyes, she addressed them directly. "Just try not to kill each other, all right?"

With that, she disappeared.

By the time their eyes had a chance to find her again, she was right in the middle of them.

* * *

Shishi flopped down on his bunk with a groan.

He was utterly drained, even by the standards of  _this_  place. What the hell was she doing, trying to kill them?

_I attack whoever stands in my way._

Shishi's eyes opened.

Wait…hadn't he heard that line before? Some time that  _wasn't_  in the instructions for an amped-up game of capture the flag?

_I attack whoever stands in my way. It just so happens that a great deal of those people happen to be demons._

Shishi suppressed a groan. Did  _everything_ have to lead back to the Dark Tournament? The  _last_ thing he wanted to think about was the way  _own_  energy had been stolen and used against him—!

Rage flooded through him as the memories strained to surface against his will.

_I can't afford to waste my own energy, so I borrowed some of yours. I hope you can understand. I am a very busy old lady._

Why must his own mind betray him?! He didn't  _want_  to think about such a, such a…

_How could you do such a vindictive thing to me, you second-rate thief?!_

Yes,  _vindictive!_  He did have quite a way with words, didn't he?

But as much as he congratulated himself on his own sense of righteous indignation, something was…wrong. Just a little thing, maybe, but it nagged at his mind until he couldn't properly enjoy his outrage.

_How could you do such a vindictive thing…_

… _such a vindictive thing…_

Shishi's thoughts ground to a halt as something occurred to him that had never occurred to him before.

Vindictive?

In a no-holds-barred tournament like that one, where the only real rule was  _do whatever it takes to win_ , what did the word even mean?

She had been doing what it took to win.

Which was exactly what he had been doing. Well, trying to do.

Shishi frowned. But… _he_ certainly hadn't been vindictive. He'd just been fighting to win.

But they had been doing the same thing.

So why was she being vindictive, while he was a rising star on his way to glory?

Shishi's mind searched for an answer, found nothing.

Searched again, found only the vague idea that he was him and she was her and it was  _different._

Shishi threw one arm over his eyes, while the other dangled uselessly over the side of the bunk.

Dammit.

He tried to back up, to ignore the conclusion that was racing up on him, but it was too late. The conclusion was as inevitable and inexorable as he had once thought his own rise to glory would be.

He was an idiot.

He'd always prided himself on being all things to all people, but…

Oh, hell.

He really was that arrogant, wasn't he? Really that oblivious?

"Dammit," Shishi muttered, clenching a fist.

He really, really wanted not to know what he had just realized. Couldn't he just forget and stay the same?

_No._

A small part of his mind—probably the same traitorous part that had brought him to this point in the first place—insisted that it was impossible.

Why not? It was safe and comfortable in the little world he had built for himself. Maybe he could borrow enough of Chu's stash of hard liquor to forget the whole thing. Then he could stay the same as he had always been.

Did he really want to?

Shishi blinked.

Where had  _that_  come from?

Of course he wanted to stay the same. He was S _hishiwakamaru_ , swordsman extraordinaire, semi-finalist in the Dark Tournament, object of adoration…

Shishiwakamaru, arrogant, callous bastard who couldn't think past the edge of his own mind…

Shishi squeezed his eyes shut and dug the heel of his palm into his forehead, trying to escape the painful double vision he had suddenly been endowed with.

He suddenly didn't know what he wanted. Hell, he didn't even know what he wanted to  _want._

Shishi growled in frustration and rolled over to bury his head under the thin pillow.

Why couldn't he just have gone to sleep?

* * *

Eventually, he must have, though he could only be sure of this by the fact that he woke up the next morning.

He woke up when he was called, just like every other morning here.

He got up, got dressed, and went off to start his training, just like every other morning here.

But  _he_  wasn't quite the same as he had been every other morning here. He knew it.

He knew it, and it annoyed the hell out of him.

So he did as he had always done when faced with anything the least bit annoying, bothersome, or unpleasant: He closed off his mind and utterly ignored its existence.

At least, that was the plan.

Anyway, he had plenty of other things to gripe about, such as the fact that he was now the  _only_  one to be handicapped by his lack of weapon.

Genkai had taken them all away for her idiotic "back to basics" routine, but that hadn't hindered Jin or Touya in the slightest, and even Suzuka, the weapons genius, could use all of his most important attacks without them.

Rinku had gotten his yo-yos back two weeks ago, and then some. Where he had produced those eight extra toys from, Shishi had no idea, but he had indeed tucked them between his toes. How he could even walk like that, Shishi didn't know either.

That left Shishi and Chu—and today, Chu was getting his alcoholic boosters back. Wonderful.

This was all obviously distinctly unfair. So naturally, he requested his sword back. Hell, after yesterday's fiasco, he even asked  _politely!_

Genkai looked at him and shook her head in disbelief.

"No."

"And why not?"

She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead.

"You have to ask? It's because you're still a  _weakling_ , prettyboy. You  _apparently_  have no idea how much of an idiotic risk you're taking every time you use it!" Her voice was growing in anger. "Get your power level  _above_  that of your fancy sword's, and  _maybe_  you can have it back! If you can't wrap your head around that, then you'll have the dubious honor of knocking Yusuke off my 'top dimwit' spot!"

Shishi clenched his fists. He really,  _really_  wanted to retort, but if he did that, she'd probably just kick him out for real.

Besides, as bitter as it was to admit, she probably had a point.

" _Fine,_ " he said through teeth that didn't want to unclench. "I'll be back for it then."

With that he turned stiffly and did his utmost to make his retreat seem like a dramatic exit.

* * *

Well, at least he was hardly the only one getting on the wrong side of Genkai's rants.  _Everyone_  had gotten there at one point or another, and right now it was Chu, prompted, apparently, by his newly reacquired alcoholic assistance.

Shishi, still working on the stupid training dummies, was entirely near enough to hear the whole thing, so he made himself feel better about everything by enjoying the fact that someone else was currently vying for that 'dimwit' title.

He glanced over, watching as she yelled at him, telling him all the different ways he was screwing up.

"How the hell do you expect to land a solid hit if you can't even  _walk_  straight?"

"It's called drunken boxing!  _DRUNKEN_  boxing! 'Ow the hell else am I supposed to do it, crazy sheila?"

That was the gist of the argument, repeated in minute variations for the past fifteen minutes.

"How can that possible be an effective strategy?"

"D'you know  _anything_ about drunken boxing?"

Genkai paused, and to Shishi's surprise, she laughed. It was her usual rather harsh laugh, but it seemed to indicate actual amusement, and perhaps a sporting resignation.

"You know, I actually don't. Whatever people may say about me, and as busy an old lady as I've been, I'm actually  _not_  an expert in every form of martial arts that ever existed." She waved a hand in mock-dismissal. "Fine, stumble away. Don't blame me when you run into a wall."

Shishi looked over in surprise, only to see Genkai looking straight back in his direction.

"What do you think  _you're_  looking at, prettyboy?"

"Nothing!"

Shishi returned his attention to the dummy, moving around so he was facing away from the two.

Once again, words from the Dark Tournament rose before him—not her words this time.

His words.

_I think I may have fallen in love._

And suddenly, he knew why his past self had said those words.

* * *

That realization didn't change anything.

Just because he'd figured out what had caused his reeling brain to spout out something that ridiculous didn't mean he actually  _agreed_  with it, and anyone who said otherwise was a fool. Not that anyone other than himself was exactly in a position to think anything about it, since he wasn't exactly going to mention it to anyone.

Besides, it wasn't even like it was that earth-shattering of a revelation. It was just a little thing, knowing which trait it was that had caused such an odd reaction. After all, it wasn't every day that a demon met someone so willing to be honest, even about her own flaws.

Well, that and the fact that her younger form had been surprisingly beautiful.

But none of that made any difference, especially not to the fact that he was mad at her for letting  _Chu_  win an argument, and not  _him_.

So, no. No difference whatsoever.

That was why he was still thinking about it during lunch, with absolutely no idea what the conversation was about, and scowling into his soup without really seeing it.

At least, until he was rudely poked in the arm by whoever had taken the seat next to him.

"Aye, an' what did tha' poor stew ever do t' ye?"

Jin's ears were twitching, which only made Shishi scowl harder.

"Shut up, Jin."

* * *

His afternoon's training was, thankfully, solo.

Hell, he'd even moved away from the training dummies, not that his new training ground was any less ridiculous.

He'd finally got the hang of reinforcing his punches and kicks with demon energy, so if he timed it right, his punches could break solid rock. If he  _didn't_  time it correctly, he ended up with very sore fists.

So now he was in the middle of a bunch of rock pillars, trying to punch them down.

Wonderful. He'd always wanted to be able to beat up inanimate objects with his bare hands. And where did these things even  _come_  from? Did she hire someone to rebuild them after her students knocked them down? Did they serve any purpose  _other_  than being knocked down?

_Wham. Crunch._

Another rock bit the dust, which might or might not be vaguely cannibalistic. What was the point of this again?

Shishi sized up another stone pillar, this time focusing on the fact that he was mad at Genkai.

_Wham._

When  _he_ had gotten into an argument with her, she'd told him to leave.

_Wham._

When  _Chu_  did it, she'd admitted that he was right.

_Wham._

This was obviously the result of gross bias on her part, and had nothing to do with the relative merits of their arguments.

Shishi glared at another rock, trying to ignore the tiny idea fluttering somewhere in his mind that he might also be angry at himself.

He gathered up another burst of energy in his right hand, and swung back.

"Still working over here, slacker?"

_Crack!_

Shishi's hand hit the rock before he could tell it to release its pent-up energy.

Oh  _hell_  that hurt.

"I was doing  _fine_  before  _you_ showed up," he ground out, clutching his hand.

Genkai snorted. "If something like  _that_  can distract you enough to make you  _break your own hand,_  then I have no idea how you made it out of the Dark Tournament alive."

"I fought Kuwabara."

"Good point."

"And then you didn't kill me."

"An oversight on my part, obviously."

Shishi clutched his hand, gritting his teeth. Obviously.

Genkai sighed. "Let me have your hand, dumbass."

Shishi blinked. Why?

Without waiting for his permission, she took his hand and laid it on the ground, and then put her own hands over it with surprising gentleness.

"HA!" she cried, and a momentary glow surrounded his injured hand. When it faded, the pain faded with it.

Shishi blinked. He'd had no idea that the Spirit Wave came with healing powers.

"Work on your kicks for a while. And pay attention this time, prettyboy—if you do that again, you're on your own. I'm not as young as I used to be."

With that, she clasped her hands behind her back, turned away, and took a flying leap to the nearest rock pillar and off to whatever else she did.

Shishi stared after her, rubbing his hand absently. It still tingled where she'd touched him. Something was nagging at the back of his mind, begging to be acknowledged, but Shishi brushed it aside.

That woman was the most confusing person he had ever met.

* * *

The next few days were strange in their normality.

On the surface, everything was exactly the same as it had been: training from morning till night with breaks only for meals, frustration at being stuck at the same level of training, minor spats with teammates, nearly collapsing from exhaustion every night…

But every so often, something would give Shishi the impression that things  _ought_ to feel strange.

Like that moment when Genkai had said his technique was "marginally better." Far less than he  _deserved_ to hear, perhaps, but it still left him glowing with profound satisfaction.

Or the moment when she had said he might actually get his energy level above his sword's…and somehow, the fact that that had been followed by many an expression of disbelief only made it more satisfying.

Each time something like that happened, his words from the Dark Tournament came back to haunt him, and each time, he dismissed them with the thought that his  _present_  self certainly didn't agree with them.

And each time, it was the tiniest, most unnoticeable fraction harder.


	2. Chapter 2

Finally, after what felt like several decades of training, she let him have his sword back.

"Try not to kill yourself with it. I've put too much work into training you."

Not the most encouraging of words, perhaps, but  _she_  was the one saying them. If she had given him his sword back, she thought he was strong enough to handle it.

Shishi grasped the handle of his erstwhile sword, trying to brush aside that now-familiar glow. And this time, when he felt that familiar rush of power, it didn't threaten to drag him under with it.

"Chorus of a Thousand Skulls!"

Power erupted out of the sword. Shishi directed it toward the target he was supposed to be destroying—but his newly increased power levels threw him off, and he overcorrected.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" shouted Genkai.

Oh, hell. Oh hell, NO!

The ghostly skulls had veered off course when he tried to direct them, and were now headed straight for the first target to present itself: Rinku.

The only one of them who still wasn't strong enough to defend himself against this attack.

"Stop," he muttered, focusing all his attention on trying to control the sword. "Stop!"

With a yell, Shishi lifted up the sword and buried it nearly to the hilt in the ground. The skulls stopped emerging from the sword, but the ones that had already escaped were still trying to drag Rinku away with them.

Touya had gotten to Rinku first, and was holding up a wall of ice in front of a younger demon. A particularly violent ghost lunged towards them, threatening to break through, and, in desperation, Touya threw an energy shield into his ice to strengthen it.

It should have been enough to hold it off—but it didn't exactly hold it off.

When the ghostly skull hit the shield, it was completely absorbed into it, leaving nothing but a swiftly dissipating trail of spectral mist.

Much as Shishi wanted to know what had happened, he really had to get the rest of those skulls under control before they killed somebody. So he closed his eyes and threw himself into the task of battling the wills of demon ghosts through his magic sword.

A few minutes—seconds? Ages? He had no idea—later, Shishi dropped, panting, to his knees in front of the sword.

He did  _not_  want to do that again.

Why the hell had he ever thought it was a good idea to use this thing before he had enough strength to control it?

"Dimwit! I assumed I didn't have to tell you not to aim it at your allies!"

"I'm sorry! I overcorrected!"

He didn't realize it until later, but that was the first time he had ever apologized for anything in his life.

* * *

Apparently those few days of relative normality had been the calm before the storm, at least as far as whatever the hell was going on in his head was concerned.

Something was very wrong, and for the life of him, Shishi couldn't figure out what it was.

That was why he was lying there on his bunk, staring at the ceiling, trying in vain to ignore the existential itch in his soul.

It was fast moving from confusing to frustrating, and even edging into unbearable. The damned thing wouldn't let him sleep!

On the plus side, he was at least able to channel his constant frustration into improving his training. That at least earned him a few half-compliments of the "not entirely terrible" variety—though those, again, only served to increase the general weirdness that surrounded him.

This was getting completely intolerable, and Shishi had no idea why.

He rolled over for the hundredth time and tried not to think about it.

What the hell was wrong with him? Why was he acting this way? For that matter,  _what_  was this way he was acting? He'd never felt anything quite like it. All he knew was that this weirdness had started somewhere inside his own mind, and that Genkai had something to do with it.

No, no, no. He wasn't thinking about it. He was sleeping. Preferably an hour ago, but now would do.

Shishi concentrated on ignoring the thoughts wheeling through his head—the Dark Tournament, his training here, that odd feeling whenever he saw her—and tried to sink into sleep.

He was almost there, in that odd moment of unreality right before consciousness slips away, when the pieces slipped into place, and he knew.

Without any fanfare, he suddenly understood exactly what was going on.

His eyes shot open.

Holy hell.

Shishi stared at nothing in shock as his mind caught up to the realization.

He had long since passed the tipping point, days ago, maybe  _weeks_ , and had somehow missed the memo.

Half the weirdness of the past few days was made up of being in a state of unrecognized denial, and the other half…

Shishi shook his head, trying desperately to clear his mind of the uncomfortable conclusion it had finally forced him to face.

It was too late.

It was much, much too late.

This particular truth wasn't going anywhere, and he had exactly zero chance of slipping back into his previous state of unawareness—he'd learned  _that_  much the last time he'd tried.

With a feeling somewhere in between loathing and liberation, he was forced to admit to himself the truth that he had just learned.

Shishiwakamaru was definitely, and irrevocably, in love.

* * *

He'd somehow hoped that the morning's light would help him out of his predicament, but no such luck. Knowing what that odd feeling meant only increased its power, even as he did his best not to even think it to himself. He couldn't even  _look_  at her.

Well, hell. This was even worse than before.  _Then_  he'd only been in a state of frustrated confusion—now he knew  _exactly_  what was going on with him…and absolutely, positively could _never_  let anyone catch on. Ever.

He glanced around suspiciously, suddenly concerned that someone might notice something, but if anyone did, they weren't showing it. Rinku and Jin were chatting excitedly over something or other, Touya had on his best frozen poker face, Chu was rather tipsy, and it was Suzuka's turn for one-on-one training.

As for Genkai herself, he was afraid to look.

"Ok, dimwits, let's get going. The clown's with me, Chu's on his own, the rest of you, sparring time. Hand-to-hand only, no teammates. Jin, you're with Rinku. Touya, prettyboy there."

Shishi twisted his lips. Oh, this was shaping up to be a  _wonderful_  day. Couldn't they just do solo work? Like, forever?

Touya was moving into position, so he mirrored him, waiting for the signal.

"Start!"

Punch, dodge, counterattack…by this point, it was easy enough to fall into a rhythm that only required a small portion of his mind to focus on it. Unfortunately.

He tried forcing himself to think only about what he was doing, but all that did was throw him off his rhythm.

Dammit. Don't think about it!

Why the hell did he have to fall for  _her_?

Dammit, dammit, dammit.

Why did he have to fall for someone that no one would ever think of for him. Why couldn't he have fallen for one of his fangirls? They would understand  _that_. They were young, and beautiful, and…

And shallow. Vain. Superficial.

Just like him.

Yes, that would be a match made in heaven.

"Oof!"

He'd failed to block a punch, and Touya had hit him straight in the stomach.

Touya jumped back, giving Shishi a second to pull himself together before they come back together.

"Careful," said Touya. "I'm not planning to pull any punches."

Shishi didn't respond, just set his face in a ferocious glare aimed at nothing in particular. He really should have done better than  _that_.

Nor were they the only ones to notice.

"Oi, prettyboy! Get your head in the game!"

She, of course, was perfectly capable of keeping tabs on everyone while sparring and throwing insults at at least three different people.

Shishi turned halfway toward her, intent on throwing  _some_  sort of snarky comment in her direction. Unfortunately, she was still looking at him, and he accidentally met her gaze.

"What do you think you're looking at, prettyboy?"

"Nothing!" Too fast, too defensive. Hell.

Some half-formed instinct caused Shishi to spin out of the way of a blow aimed for his head, and it was back to sparring.

Oh, yes. This day was going to simply  _wonderful._

* * *

That night, Shishi snuck out to the porch for some much-needed moping time.

He was dead on his feet, but he  _still_  couldn't sleep.

Damn it all. The training was an exhausting enough arrangement even without the extra energy he was wasting being an idiot about someone who would never look twice at him. She had made it clear enough that she though he was a worthless, self-absorbed dimwit who didn't stand much of a chance of gaining anything from her training.

He stared up at the stars, so different from those of his homeworld, and sighed.

Then, dammit, why couldn't he stop looking at her?

Every time he even heard her  _name_ , it was like he'd won a prize, or found some sort of treasure hidden in plain sight. It was that unmistakable feeling of having finally found what he was looking for in the midst of everything that didn't matter…which was odd, since he hadn't been looking for anything. At least, he hadn't thought so.

She…she was everything he wasn't.

She was honest where he was deceptive, said what she meant when he carefully chose his words for their impact. She was old where he was young, and young where he was old—he was older than she was, but he was still a young man by demon standards, while she was in the winter of her life. She had sharp tongue and a dry sense of humor, while he was constantly trying to have a smooth tongue and found very little truly funny.

It was that honesty, more than anything else, that had finally won him over. He could see that now, however well he'd hidden it from himself before.

Even in the Dark Tournament, she had baldly told him that she wasn't a hero, she was just there because it suited her purposes. She really didn't care at all what people thought of her.

He, on the other hand, did nothing  _but_.

Well, he called it honesty, but…she did say things she obviously didn't mean. She hadn't really regretted not killing him. She really did think they'd gotten better under her training, no matter how many times she said they were hopeless.

And yet, she somehow seemed more honest when saying things that were completely untrue than some people were when they spoke the complete truth.

Shishi leaned his head on his hand, trying to rub away the headache that was slowly forming due to lack of sleep.

"What are you doing out here, dimwit? You should be sleeping!"

Her gravelly voice made him jump, straightening up automatically.

"I'm not tired." He was well aware of how much he sounded like a petulant child, but he couldn't help it. Dammit, he had several  _centuries_  on her…why did  _he_  have to feel like the child?

"Heh. And I'm not old."

She was right, of course. He was exhausted.

But he couldn't very well admit that now.

So he twisted his lips into a pout she couldn't even see and waited for her to  _make_ him leave.

What he got instead was a long silence, followed by a sigh.

"Dimwit."

He started to scowl, but was brought up short by the feel of something soft being draped around his shoulders.

"Get some sleep, prettyboy."

Did she  _have_  to keep calling him that?

"I'll be getting you up at the crack of dawn."

Dammit.

* * *

After what seemed like several hundred years, the end of their training finally drew near.

Despite what had felt like ages of making no progress whatsoever, everyone had improved tremendously.

Shishi had been able to improve the strength of his Chorus of a Thousand Skulls attack about tenfold, and started calling it the Chorus of Ten Thousand Skulls.

Touya improved upon is newly discovered energy draining technique, naming it Ice Absorption. Jin had had learned Tornado Fist Explosion. Suzuka strengthened his Rainbow Cyclone technique until it colored most of the sky when he used it. Chu developed a headbutt that could shatter mountains. And Rinku did, in fact, master his toe-yo-yos.

So when Kurama returned for them, they were ready for him.

"And how are my fighters doing?" he asked Genkai when he arrived.

"Better than when you dropped them off, that's for sure. With any luck, they'll all be over a hundred thousand of whatever the hell you use to measure power levels in Demon World. If they're not, it's not my fault." She glanced over at them, and Shishi could have sworn that her gaze lingered on him.

Which didn't even begin to be fair. He was still stronger than both Rinku and Suzuka, he was sure of it. Couldn't she at least acknowledge  _that?_

"Seems like it," said Kurama amiably. "Shall we go, then?"

"Bye, dimwits. Try not to get yourselves killed right away." With that, Genkai turned with a half wave and walked back into the temple.

* * *

Arriving at Yomi's palace was a relief, despite the fact that Shishi didn't care one whit for Demon World politics.

Well, he  _hadn't_  cared at all—though it didn't take all that long after they'd arrived for the Urameshi boy to go and make things a  _little_  more interesting. He still didn't care enough to declare himself on the boy's side, but he didn't have any particular loyalty to Yomi either. "Undecided" had seemed a perfectly valid response under those circumstances, though certain  _others_  on his team hadn't seemed to think so.

Still, Urameshi's idea had proved wildly popular among essentially everyone else, and Shishi had eventually signed on for the Demon World Tournament.

Not because he had any interest whatsoever in becoming the next ruler of Demon World—no, what he wanted was the chance to show off some of his hard earned power against some strong opponents.

Well, that, and, if he was honest with himself (which he was having a much harder time avoiding lately), he could really use the distraction.

At least now he didn't have to face her every day, pretending he wasn't a lovesick puppy dog, but still…nothing he'd tried had been able to keep his thoughts away from the temple on the mountain and the woman who lived there.

Because of  _course_  it was a good idea to go into potential life-and-death situations when you couldn't get your head on straight…

Shishi planted his face firmly in his palm.

"An' wha' be your problem?" asked a familiar Irish brogue behind him.

"Nothing whatsoever," said Shishi, raising his head again and pretending to be his normal, arrogant self.

"Ye be worried about the preliminaries?"

"No," said Shishi, truthfully, for once. He hadn't had a chance.

Jin cocked his head to the side and stared at him for a moment.

"Aye…an' then why be your wind all mixed up and confused?"

"None of your business," snapped the shorter demon, stalking off.

Damn Jin and his perceptiveness. Why couldn't he be either oblivious or respectful of his privacy, like the others?

* * *

The preliminary round was harder than he expected, but he got through it.

Unfortunately, that did him little good, since it took him almost no time at all to be defeated in the first round.

And by being tied up with someone's  _neck!_  Ew.

Still, it was hardly the most embarrassing defeat he'd ever suffered…

He shook his head, hard.

He was NOT thinking about her!

"Are you quite all right?"

He glanced over.

Oh, seriously.

Was he being so obvious now that even  _Touya_  was asking about it? What next? Was Chu going to start spontaneously offering him advice about girls? He didn't think he could survive the indignity.

"Fine," he snapped, walking away.

Still…if he could think of exactly what to ask…some advice might not be a bad idea.

* * *

What did he want?

Shishiwakamaru was sitting outside the stadium, no longer caring which of the competitors won.

He'd warmed up to the idea of asking for advice…but…

How the hell was he supposed to ask anyone about anything when he had no idea what he was asking for?

What did he want?

Did he want to simply stop being hopelessly in love with someone who would never love him back?

He should say yes. But he couldn't.

Shishi sighed deeply.

"What is it?"

Shishi didn't even bother to look up this time. Kurama's voice was recognizable enough.

"Nothing." He couldn't even work up the enthusiasm to snap at him.

Kurama didn't leave. Shishi could feel his eyes boring holes in him, and he didn't care.

Finally, the fox spoke.

"You were off your game for the whole tournament. You should have been able to do better. So what is it that's distracting you?"

"Why do you care?" asked Shishi, sullenly.

Kurama chuckled.

"Perhaps I still feel some responsibility for you as part of my team. Or perhaps it's simply curiosity…you have been remarkably single-minded in the past."

That earned him a glance. Single-minded? That was probably his polite term for "bull-headed idiot."

Still, maybe he could learn something of value…if he could figure out what to ask for.

"I was wondering…about human customs."

Kurama's eyebrows rose at that.

"A sudden interest in cultural anthropology caused your distraction?"

Shishi just scowled.

The fox sat on the step next to him.

"What were you interested in, specifically?"

Shishi's mouth went dry. What was he supposed to say now?

"I was…wondering about…human relationships," he muttered. As a matter of purely academic interest, of course.

Kurama was silent for too long, so he risked a glance over.

He wished he hadn't.

The fox's eyebrows had completely disappeared into his hair, and his eyes held a mixture of surprise and calculation.

"So…you want to know about dating?"

Shishi nodded. He wasn't entirely sure that  _was_  what he was asking about, but his mouth was too dry to talk.

"Very well."

* * *

Shishi learned a lot that day, but whether any of it counted as  _useful_  he still wasn't sure.

Well, at least he now knew that "dating" referred to a social outing involving a prospective couple, and that the objective was to get to know the other person and find out if they were anything like a good match. Kurama even gave him some pointers on how to act in such a situation, despite the purely academic nature of the question.

Kurama even continued his lecture on to include such topics as proposals and wedding traditions, which Shishi thought a waste of time. After all, it wasn't like he wanted to  _marry_ her!

Not that he knew what he  _did_  want…

Through it all, Kurama emphasized that what worked for one couple didn't work for another, and that part of becoming a successful couple was working out what worked and what didn't.

Still, almost all of what he said seemed to apply to human teenagers or young adults…which made sense, since that was how long he'd been a human.

"Did that satisfy your curiosity?"

Shishi blinked, and then remembered that he was supposed to say something.

"I suppose that was satisfactory," he said, falling back into his normal patterns of speech as he stood and turned to walk away.

But something stopped him.

"And…" He grimaced. "Thank you."

He didn't want to say it.

But the instant he had started to walk off, he had heard Genkai's gravelly, beautiful voice shouting in his head, calling him an "ungrateful bastard".

Dammit.

* * *

He went back to the Human World.

What choice did he have? Either way, he was going to hear her voice telling him to stop being an asshole, and he found that he rather preferred her real voice.

But when he had gotten almost to the top of the stairs to her temple, his steps slowed to a halt.

What was he doing here?

No, seriously. He might have stayed here for interminable months while training, but he hardly had the right to just come whenever he felt like it.

But where else would he go?

So he stood there.

"Planning to just stand there all day, dimwit?"

The sound of her voice actually made him crack a smile. He hadn't realized how much he missed it.

And, pressed for an answer, he took a page out of Hiei's book.

"I was hoping to spar with you," he said closing his eyes to go with his smile, and spreading a hand rather grandly…for form's sake.

"Hrmph. You think you've gotten any better at all than you were last time I beat your face into the ground?"

_No._

Out loud, of course, he only said "We'll see," as his smile grew wider.

* * *

"Chorus of a Thousand Skulls!"

"Hrmph, you think that's going to work better than it did last time?"

Without bothering to answer, Shishi took the opportunity to leap over her, sword crackling with energy.

"Oh, seriously, you already know what's going to happen!" Genkai stepped forward and clasped the Banshee Shriek between her wrinkled hands.

"Spirit Reflection BLAST!"

By the last word, her voice had changed, losing its gravelly edge.

The wave of energy knocked him backwards, throwing him down on the ground.

And before him stood Young Genkai, pink hair blowing in the breeze.

Their gazes met and locked, holding for too long.

"You…did that on purpose," said the young woman, slowly.

Shishi couldn't respond.

"You just wanted to see my young self again."

He absolutely could not interpret her voice. Was it annoyance? Flattery? Anger? Confusion? Resignation? Was she offended? Pleased? What?

But in any case…

"No."

Genkai blinked. "No what?"

Shishi forced his voice out through vocal cords that felt like sandpaper.

"No, not…just. I thought…you might…like it."

Genkai stared at him, her expression changing slightly, but to something equally uninterpretable.

Shishiwakamaru stared at the ground while Genkai stared at him, until Shishi started to wish that he hadn't escaped from that giant demon that had eaten him.

Finally, something like a dry chuckle escaped Genkai's lips, sounding more like the Genkai he had come to know.

"You weren't kidding."

Shishi glanced up, just long enough to register that the still-young face had taken on an expression of wonder, and…was she maybe, just a little, flattered?

She sat down across from him, chin resting on her palm.

"When you said you had fallen in love with me, I assumed it was just something you said to make yourself feel better about suffering such an embarrassing defeat."

"It was," muttered Shishi. "…then."

Genkai's eyebrows rose.

"'Then'?"

The silence stretched out, and Genkai spoke again.

"You do realize that I can't look like this all the time, don't you? Or are you more of a dimwit than I gave you credit for?"

"I know," said Shishi. "I don't care."

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, until Genkai's extra energy faded. Her hair returned to its usual pale, pinkish-gray, her skin wrinkled again, and her voice regained its gravelly edge.

Shishi finally looked up and met her gaze.

Genkai looked at him long and hard, and then shook her head.

Shishi dropped his eyes, defeated. What had he really hoped to accomplish?

"Well, don't just sit there. If you're going to do this, you'd better do it properly."

Shishi looked up again in shock. Genkai was standing, staring down at him, hands on her hips.

She looked like her usual, cantankerous self…but was that a hint of flattery?

"Well?"

Shishi scrambled to his feet, mentally thanking Kurama with all his might.

"Would you care to accompany me to dinner?"

"Hmph. Not like I have anything better to do. Lead the way, Shishi."

* * *

Since neither one was particularly keen on taking a train into town, they stayed in to eat, with Yukina (who had gotten quite good at cooking) making them dinner.

"So," said Genkai as she settled into the chair that Shishiwakamaru had graciously pulled out for her, "I must say I'm rather curious. Why  _me?_ " Her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Hn, you think I haven't asked myself the same question?" scoffed Shishi, taking his own seat.

"No, I just wondered if you'd come up with an  _answer,_ " she said. "Though, on second thought, I really  _didn't_  think you had the self-awareness to wonder something like that."

"That was your doing. After suffering such an embarrassing defeat, I had to…re-evaluate my life."

"Oh, really? And what did you learn?"

"Mainly that I was a selfish, arrogant bastard who didn't know how to be honest with himself."

Genkai's eyebrows rose. "Looks like you managed to fix that last one, at least."

"Perhaps."

"The rest of them, not so much."

Shishi glanced over.

"So then…why did you agree?"

"I told you, I had nothing better to do." She glanced down at her plate, and then looked up with a sardonic grin. "Besides, it's been a very long time since anyone's taken any sort of interest in me. I might as well enjoy it while it lasts."

Shishi had no answer to that. He wanted to say that it wasn't like that, but…how could he be sure it wasn't?

"Also," continued Genkai, "you never answered my question. Why the hell would you pick  _me_  to fanboy over? It's not like you don't have other options."

"You make it sound like I had some  _choice_ in the matter."

"Mm-hm. Spill it, prettyboy."

Shishi pressed his lips together.

"You're…everything I'm not."

"What, an old human woman to your young demon man?"

"That's not what I meant. Besides, I'm  _older_  than you."

"Pff. In years, maybe, but that doesn't mean much to a demon's lifespan. I'm far closer to the end of my life than you are, and you know it. And that's not even counting the fact that I've already died once." There was an odd note in her voice.

Shishi winced, and then blinked.

"What…was that?"

"What was what? Don't tell me you didn't know about the whole dying-and-coming-back-to-life thing. My own student's done it twice as often."

"I did know that, as it happens. Actually, I was wondering what you were thinking when you said that. You sounded…disappointed."

"Don't tell me you've gone and grown a hint of perceptiveness, too," Genkai scoffed.

"Let's just say I've found a new application for my skills of reputation enhancement. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm right. You…did you really  _want_ to die?"

Genkai was silent for a very long moment, swirling her cup of tea absently.

"It would be more accurate to say that I didn't want to come back to life."

"Why? Who wouldn't want a second chance?"

"I didn't NEED a second chance!"

She slammed both palms again the table, sloshing her soup onto the tablecloth.

"I had already done everything in my life that I needed to do. I was  _finished_. And then  _poof,_  there I am again. What the hell was I supposed to do? I'd spent fifty years trying to get closure for Toguro, and I'd finally managed to succeed through Yusuke. What the hell was I supposed to  _do_  with my life after that?"

The silence stretched out again, this time heavier than before, until Genkai broke it again with a sigh.

"What am I complaining for? I have a chance other people would kill to have. I might as well make the best of it."

"That's how Kurama convinced you to train us."

Genkai gave him a long look, and then let out a breath that might have been a chuckle in a previous life.

"Perhaps it is. The temptation of purpose is a powerful one indeed."

"So it is."

She gave him a sidelong look that turned into a puzzled frown.

"Don't tell me he pulled the same spiel on you."

"Heh. He didn't even have to."

"And what did you have to run from? Don't tell me all your fans abandoned you over one little utter defeat?"

"In fact, most of them  _didn't_. But like I said, you forced me to re-evaluate my priorities. After that… Well, I just didn't find being a big star quite as…fulfilling as I had anticipated."

"Heh," Genkai chuckled. "You and me both, kid."

Shishi scowled. "I'm not a  _kid_ , thank you."

"Forgive me, I obviously meant to say 'prettyboy', prettyboy."

Shishi rolled his eyes and let it go. Arguing the point would be too much effort.

"So," said Genkai after a moment. "You can stick around if you like, if you're willing to pull your weight around here. Helpful as Yukina is, I'm just not as young as I used to be. You know where your old bunk is." One corner of her mouth curled up. "You must be rather tired after giving me all that energy earlier."

Shishi twisted his lips. "I'm  _fine_."

"Mm-hm. " She stood and picked up both of their empty dishes. "Get some sleep, prettyboy."

* * *

Shishi lay in his bunk, staring at the ceiling.

Well.

It had certainly been quite a day.

He really was exhausted, but his eyes wouldn't close.

Whatever he had been expecting, he was pretty sure this wasn't it. Rather than being rejected out of hand, he had been more or less welcomed back, and even given the chance he had so desperately hoped for.

A chance at what, exactly?

Shishi rolled over, letting one arm flop rather ungracefully over the edge of the bed, not even bothering to try to answer himself.

Genkai.

She'd been going through her own personal hell right in front of him, and he'd barely even noticed.

Why the hell had she been alone? Wasn't there anyone she could have turned to? Why hadn't somebody noticed?

But as he stared at the ground, he found that he knew the answer.

It was much the same as his own.

Genkai was a very private person, so there were very few people she might be willing to confide in—and those few were probably too precious to her for her to burden with her own troubles.

Besides, who could understand a problem like hers?

_You did._

Shishi rolled over again feeling a strange warmth somewhere deep in his chest.

Well.

He was back now, and that was enough.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning was strange.

His question from yesterday— _What the hell am I doing here?_ —returned with a vengeance.

What the hell was he doing here?

He'd spent months here training, but…well, that had involved being woken up at the crack of dawn and, well,  _training_.

He wasn't here for that now.

He was here for…something else. Maybe.

All of which left he with absolutely no idea what to do next.

Shishi took a deep breath, trying not to have any expectations of what the day might bring.

With that, he stepped outside.

Good thing he'd had no expectations.

Something whizzed past his face, and only reflexes honed by months of Genkai's training kept him from getting a lovely black-and-blue shiner to go with his purple eyes.

"Finally up, lazybones?"

Shishi could only stare. Genkai was balanced on one finger on a stone pillar not far from the building that held the visitors' bunks, and was using her free hand to toss chunks of rock in random directions.

"Catch!"

Shishi's hand shot up and caught the rock a few inches from his face, using his own energy to counter the force of its speed.

"Hmph. Maybe you  _have_  gotten slightly better. That was a reinforced throw—though I guess you didn't want to have that pretty face all banged up."

Shishi blinked.

"Yukina should still have some food for you if you hurry. Though you'll need to be on time if you want breakfast in the future—consider this my thank you for letting me feel like my old self again."

"You're…welcome." Shishi turned to go, and then back for a second.

"Good morning to you too," he added, throwing the rock back at her.

Genkai grinned and punched the rock in midair, shattering it.

"Hurry up, and I might consider showing you around the parts of the temple that you never had time to see before."

Shishi just waved back over his shoulder as he walked into the kitchen.

* * *

"Oh, you're up!" Yukina said as he walked in. "Master Genkai said you might be late getting up. I saved you a plate." She handed it to him as he sat down at the kitchen table. She paused, and then added, "I hope it's more to your liking."

Shishi, a mouthful of whatever that yellow substance was already in his mouth (it was better than it looked), abruptly remembered the last time he'd mentioned her cooking to her.

Swallowing, he said, "It's…good."

Dammit, did he have to?

"I…apologize for insulting your meal before."

Yukina smiled. "That's all right; it was pretty terrible. But…thank you." She looked at him a second longer, and then nodded slightly to herself.

"Oh, and Master Genkai wasn't kidding when she said to hurry up."

* * *

Shishi was all too familiar with the training grounds, visitor dorms, and common areas, but Genkai was right—there was a lot he'd never gotten around to seeing.

"Yeah, if you're going to be sticking around for a little while, I suppose you'd better know what you're getting into."

She showed him much more of the grounds—he hadn't realized just how  _large_  the compound was. She took off at top speed, hands clasped behind her back, chatting as if she were standing still.

"And here's where I have to warn human visitors to stay away from—too many dangerous demons."

Shishi's eyebrows wrinkled. "What dangerous demons?"

Genkai laughed roughly. "The handful of D-classes that hang around down there."

Finally, though, the tour ended back at the main building.

"And here's where I fill my time when I'm not tormenting hapless students or rearranging the geography of my temple." She pushed open a set of large, ornate doors, to reveal…

Well, something. Shishi had thought he was reasonably familiar with human technology, but had never seen anything quite like this set of blinking contraptions.

He stared at them. "What exactly do you do with them?"

Genkai grinned wickedly. "You'll see."

* * *

"Die, Goblin!"

Shishi felt like he was being blown away by her vehemence. He had hardly thought she was a pacifist—he'd never been  _that_  out of touch with reality—but her violence surprised him.

And to be honest, he found it a little insulting. Why was she more intent on defeating this tiny representation of a goblin on a screen than she had been on fighting  _him?_

"And that's Goblin City."

"You certainly seem to take it seriously."

"Don't underestimate the importance of being good at video games. I once helped save the world playing this game."

Shishi raised an eyebrow. "Never heard about that one."

Genkai seemed to relish the opportunity.

"Oh, didn't you? I supposed I had better remedy that…"

* * *

They were still there hours later when Yukina came to find them.

"Jump! No! Why won't it go where I tell it to?!"

"Hah! KO! Looks like I win again, prettyboy."

"How in this world do you manage to control it with such…idiosyncratic controls?"

"Years of practice." The corner of her lip twitched, and she sounded smug.

"Hn."

"Does that mean you give up?"

"Not on your life." Shishi picked up the controller again. "Bring it on."

"Excuse me," said Yukina. "Perhaps you should delay this game? Dinner's getting cold."

* * *

This particular dinner (which, contrary to Yukina's warning, was still hot) was filled with polite conversation punctuated by pauses that just barely edged into "awkward" territory. Everyone was guarded, trying to figure out their place in the suddenly altered dynamics of this minefield that had previously been known as "mealtime".

"So," said Genkai after a silence that had gone on a heartbeat too long, at least for the one member of the dinner party who had a beating heart. "I hear the political situation in Demon World has taken a turn for the bizarre."

"You could certainly say that." Wait, wasn't politics supposed to be the opposite of a safe topic among humans? "Your student certainly shook things up."

Genkai snorted. "Oh, don't go laying  _that_  at my feet! He was already a hopeless dimwit when I got him. What I did was mitigation."

Yukina broke in at that point, probably trying to forestall an argument. "Everything seems to have worked out for him well enough in the end."

"Indeed. The first time he really fails at something major is going to be rough on him." Genkai sighed, and then smiled. "And I don't usually say that about people who have already failed at living  _twice_."

Shishi changed the subject at that, since at this point he would very much prefer to keep the conversation light, and discussions of mortality rarely did that.

"And what have the two of you been doing up here?" He was honestly having trouble imagining what they got up to without a houseful of energetic demons on the loose.

" _I've_  been enjoying my retirement," said Genkai. "Yukina has probably been dying of boredom."

"Oh, no," said Yukina quickly. "It's quite pleasant up here. I like the quiet."

"I've tried to teach her video games, but she's just too compassionate to get into them properly."

"I'm sorry," said Yukina, looking down at her plate.

"Don't be, child. I don't wish that everyone was like me—I wouldn't wish that on the world at large. Your compassion is your greatest asset, and if the price for that is not enjoying a few silly video games, that's a small price to pay." She smiled. "Besides, you're really quite excellent at the karaoke."

Genkai looked up at their newest guest with a calculating look. "Though it is true that we were running a bit short on topics of conversation. That problem, at least, you've solved."

"…glad to oblige," muttered Shishi, not quite sure how to take that one.

That silence went on for several breaths, and Shishi cast around for a new topic.

"So…I trust the weather around here has been pleasant?"

* * *

Those first days were filled with that same kind of not-entirely-unpleasant wariness, at least for Shishi and Genkai. Yukina, for her part, seemed to have already come to whatever conclusion she was going to make.

The other two, however, were still reserving judgment, trying to sound each other out after they had, perhaps, revealed more than they intended to.

It was a time of chances taken and chances given, where either of them could have ended whatever this was at a moment's notice, but neither did.

Instead, things slipped quietly into a pattern—not quite a new normal, but shifting that way.

Mornings—at least after a breakfast he made sure never to be late for—were Shishi's own, spent exploring the compound, or reading (the temple had a surprisingly well-stocked library), or even slipping back into Demon World to visit the others.

But he always came back before noon.

Noon quickly became their daily sparring time, and he wouldn't want to miss that—even if it  _did_  always endwith his defeat. (He did avoid letting her steal all his energy, however—he did have  _some_  standards.)

After that, they would eat with Yukina and then play video games—sometimes with Yukina, sometimes without. Either way, even with the enthusiasm Yukina lacked, Shishi was by far the worst player.

After most of a fortnight, however, it was starting to feel just a little bit like home.

* * *

Shishi was almost asleep, under the influence of a particularly grueling match earlier, when he abruptly realized that he'd left his sword in the common room.

Shishi blinked. Had he really felt comfortable enough here to  _forget?_

Unfortunately, now that he remembered, he found the thought much too nagging to ignore.

With a sigh, he rose and slid the door open, stepping across the courtyard to retrieve it.

The light was still on, he noted, but didn't make much of it.

At least, not until he got close enough to hear the voices that went along with it.

"…seems like he's really changed," Yukina was saying softly.

"Heh. I can't claim to understand it, either," Genkai said. "From trying to kill me to fancying himself in love with me."

Shishi turned to go back, but then didn't move.

Oh, hell. He really wanted to hear this…but…wouldn't that just prove that he  _hadn't_  changed?

The long silence between the two women didn't help his indecision.

"Master Genkai," said Yukina finally. "I was wondering…can you tell me…what is love?"

Shishi straightened up.

Genkai gave a low laugh, and Yukina hastily added, "It's just that…my people are so cold-hearted that I never got to learn."

"I'm sorry, child," said Genkai. "I wasn't laughing at you. It's just that what you're asking is the biggest of the Big Questions among humans. We've been debating the answer pretty much forever."

There was a sound like a chair creaking, and then Genkai continued. "Besides, I don't think you know as little as you think you do. Tell me, did your mother love you?"

There was an even longer silence than before, and when Yukina's voice broke through it, it was even softer than usual.

"I…don't know."

There was another pause, but when Genkai made no move to fill it, she elaborated.

"She…tried very hard to keep the elders from killing my brother. She begged them not to, said she would take both of us and never come back…"

"She was willing to risk her own life to keep her children safe. That's love, Yukina."

Yukina was silent again.

"She…loved my brother."

"How do you mean?"

" _He's_  the one she wanted to save. Once he was gone, she…she took her own life."

There was another creak of the chair.

"Child…did she leave you alone?"

"No…she made sure her friend would take care of me."

"Then I say she loved you. She loved  _both_  of you, and when your brother died—or she thought he did—she blamed herself. She may even have been afraid of causing something equally terrible for  _you_."

Yukina took a deep breath, but didn't say anything.

"I can't say her choice was the best way to show it, but think of it this way—even in the worst time in her life, when she wanted nothing more than make it all go away—she still made sure that  _you_ , her only daughter, would be safe and cared for."

Yukina's breath caught, and something small hit the floor with a  _clink._

"And this friend of your mother's, did she love you?"

"I don't know."

"She took you in, cared for you, didn't she? Even knowing how you might be treated by the others?"

"…yes," Yukina nearly whispered. "And…she…she didn't care what I was. She even told me about my brother, and understood when I had to search for him—she even helped me leave."

"Now you're getting it," said Genkai. "She cared for you without caring what you were, tried to understand  _you_  even when she couldn't understand what you were going through. She let you do what you needed to do, even if it caused her pain. That's love, child."

There was a long pause during which Shishi knew he should leave, but couldn't.

"I…I think I see." There was a slight rustling noise, and then, "I should probably go to bed."

Genkai's chair creaked again. "Get some rest, child."

Yukina's soft footsteps faded away, and the light in the windows was extinguished, making the pale illumination of the moon seem suddenly brighter.

Shishi turned to make his way back across the courtyard, but was stopped by the sound of a door sliding in its track.

"Learn anything interesting?"

Well, damn.

"That was not my intention."

Genkai chuckled, and Shishi realized that she didn't sound angry.

"I honestly can't say I blame you. I've done it far too many times myself. I'll reserve judgment until I see what you do with what you heard."

"I said I didn't mean to! I just came back to get my sword!" He hesitated. "When did you realize I was there?"

"That's for me to know and you to fret over."

Shishi scowled, but before he could object, she added, "And what did you think?"

He paused, not sure what to say. What did he think about what, exactly? Did she think he'd heard more of whatever they had been saying about him? Did she realize he'd heard any of that? Or was she asking what he thought about her definition of love?

He turned away, staring at the moon.

_She cared for you without caring what you were, tried to understand you even when she couldn't understand what you were going through._

And then he understood.

"I first knew," he began without preamble, "the first time I really saw you."

He gave a humorless half-laugh. "Not that I figured out what I knew until later, but I suppose that marks as good a starting point as any."

There was a slight rustling behind him, and he knew she was sitting down on the porch—the same place he had been all those months ago.

Shishi was silent for a long moment. He'd never thought he'd even try to put words to this, but somehow the quiet darkness of the night was drawing it out of him.

"I'd…well, I'd just realized what an utter asshole I was."

Genkai made a snorting sound, but didn't say anything.

"I was still trying my best to blame  _you_ for all my problems—as if _I'd_  have been any different if I'd won—but then, I accidentally saw something you didn't mean me to." Shishi bowed his head and gave her a chance to break in, but she remained silent.

"I saw…emptiness. Hurt. And for the first time in my life, I wanted something that wasn't for me. I wanted…I wanted for whatever was causing that look in your eyes to go away."

He took a deep breath. "And then, after I came here…you told me you didn't want to be alive. When you said that, I wanted, more than anything, for you to have a reason to live."

He turned back toward her. "And that's why I 'fancy myself in love with you'." He looked at her, waiting for her to make her move.

She took her time about it, giving him a long look with an odd expression in her eyes. Shishi could have sworn he saw the angle of the moonlight change before she spoke again.

"Perhaps you really have come to care for me—but I still don't understand. I seem to be everyone's favorite granny around here—why not that?"

Shishi raised one hand, and then let it fall limply by his side. "I don't know."

He turned away again and gave a bitter laugh. "Perhaps I'm simply another demon who never learned what love was. I don't even know what I'm holding out for—I know perfectly well that you could never love someone like me."

Shishi stared fixedly up. Why were the stars in Human World so much more beautiful than those of his homeworld?

"You really have changed."

Shishi blinked, and looked halfway back—she was shaking her head.

"I never did expect the young, arrogant idiot I fought to turn into someone with any kind of awareness or compassion."

She stood, and then added, "I must admit, you have made things rather more interesting around here. There may yet be something to this whole 'living' thing."

With that, she turned and slipped back inside, sliding the door shut behind her.

Shishi stared at the door for what felt like a very long time, before finally turning and making his way back to the room with his bed.

He was almost asleep again when he realized he'd forgotten his sword.

Dammit.

* * *

While Shishi was griping to himself about his lack of weapon, Genkai found herself in the middle of a dark night of the soul unlike she'd ever experienced.

Indeed, the only time that came close was the time when she'd had to watch Toguro slowly lose both soul and body to the dark taint of vengeance.

But this wasn't like that. This was somehow…backwards.

Genkai had barely moved since she had stepped back into the house, and was still standing with her back to the door, hands clasped behind her.

Why?

This was starting to… _matter._

Maybe some of the dimwits' idiocy was starting to rub off on her. Nothing like this had really mattered to her in a very long time, and she greatly preferred it that way.

Letting everything slide off her made life so much easier, and right now whatever made her life easier was a necessity.

Or at least…it had been.

The realization slipped slowly over her that things had changed ever so slightly.

For so long, everything had been grey, and only her significant force of will had kept her going day after day, reaching for one small goal after another, had kept the dark clouds pushed away with the force of action.

Yukina's choice to live here had helped a lot, giving her both a companion to talk to and a surrogate daughter who depended on her to adjust to Human World.

But now…

She had been needed by one person or another for most of her life.

But it had been a very long time since she'd felt  _wanted._

Genkai shook her head sharply and stalked off towards bed.

No. It was a very bad idea to let herself get caught up in this nonsense. The temptation to let herself get caught up in the feeling of  _wantedness_  was strong, far stronger than she would have expected after so many years alone, but even if she were interested…what would happen when he finally came to his senses, finally realized how much of an idiot he was being, going after  _her_  of all people? No, far better to stick to her original plan of not letting things stick to her, and just wait for this to blow over.

But that didn't mean couldn't enjoy the attention while it lasted.

* * *

When Shishi woke up the next morning, he didn't immediately get up.

Instead, he lay there, staring at the ceiling, hair splayed over the pillow in a false, tangled mockery of a halo.

Only the barest hint of light snuck in through the windows, leaving the world in that cool, surreal phase of morning that still held so much of the power of the night.

He was still thinking about last night, trying to figure out what it all meant, but the logical portion of his brain still seemed to be asleep. Instead, he was left with the slightly rustier portion that dealt with impressions and vague senses of things.

And the vague impression he was getting was one of mistrust.

The logical portion tried to break in and tell him that of  _course_  she didn't trust him—he'd tried to kill her the first time they'd met.

But right now, that part of his brain wasn't strong enough to overcome the sense that that  _wasn't_  was this was about.

Indeed, he'd gotten the impression that she might actually have grown fond of him.

But it wasn't enough. It would never be enough. She could never trust him, because she didn't believe him. Or perhaps it was the other way around—she couldn't believe that he had really come to love her, because she couldn't trust his own judgment of himself.

Not that he could blame her for that. It had taken him weeks—or months, depending on when he started counting—to even admit the existence of this feeling, much less  _trust_  it.

And he was living inside his own head.

She wasn't.

He'd never be able to prove he was serious.

The light grew warmer as it crept along the ground, taking with it the last remnants of that strange state of mind that characterized the deepest parts of the night.

But the ideas remained there, waiting for the logical portion of his mind to take their turn at tackling them.

With a sigh, Shishi pulled himself up and pulled his hair back into its usual ponytail.

He'd figure something out.

* * *

But while the logical portion of his brain attempted to work out a solution to this newly-defined dilemma, life went on.

Today's notable activity was a sparring match with Yukina, whom Genkai had been training while she lived here—which Shishi hadn't realized before, since she'd taken a bit of a sabbatical to teach her other six students, before their time limit hit.

Yukina, while still not as skilled as the six fighters, was still significantly better than Shishi would have expected. Indeed she was perfectly capable of carrying on a conversation while sparring, at least at the unarmed half-strength level they were sticking to.

The conversation had turned to Yusuke, who was still in Demon World, helping settle the shift in the balance of power.

"Yes, he does seem to be a little impulsive," said Yukina, twisting aside to dodge a hit. "At least from what I saw. I never really got to know him." She continued around, using her momentum to aim for Shishi's other side. "I got to know Keiko fairly well, though."

Shishi blocked the blow and struck with his other hand, which she danced away from. "Keiko? Ah, Urameshi's…girlfriend?" It took him a moment to pull the term out of his memory. It was a state that Demon World didn't have an exact analogy for. People might become lovers, if they weren't mortal enemies (or occasionally even if they  _were_ ), and occasionally there were pairs who combined being lovers with the kind of mutual trust that was so rare in Demon World. But there really wasn't the concept of a more innocent type of relationship, or of the kind or relationship that was more than physical but less than unambiguously permanent.

"Yes," said Yukina, deflecting a blow with a half-spin. "She came to watch the Dark Tournament. She was afraid Yusuke would get himself killed." There were a few moments of silence while she concentrated on sparring.

"I spoke to her recently," she continued. "She's about to give up on Yusuke coming back for her at all." She glanced up. "He proposed to her before he left, you know." Shishi didn't, but he didn't particularly care, either. He simply made a vague sound of assent while dodging another blow.

"She thinks he did it just so she wouldn't leave him for someone else while he was gone, that he thought she wouldn't believe him otherwise. She thinks he's going to want to stay there forever."

Shishi glanced up at that.

"Should she not think so? After all, isn't a demon's place in Demon World?" There was a slight edge of bitterness in his voice that even he didn't quite understand.

Yukina shot him an odd look, almost distracted enough to let him get a shot in.

"I have made a life here, and I don't see why others should not. Things are changing—for the better, I think."

"Perhaps."

They continued sparring in silence, motions speeding up as they focused on the match.

Yukina struck, Shishi parried and struck back. Yukina spun around, the martial arts outfit she'd borrowed from Genkai whipping around her knees.

Shishi tried another attack while she was off balance, but Yukina saw it coming and pushed away, throwing herself over completely and rolling up into a defensive position a few yards away.

There was an instant of silence as each tried to anticipate the other's move.

Then the silence was broken by a slow clapping sound.

They both looked up to see Genkai standing on the porch watching them.

"Nice job, Yukina," she said with a smile—a permanently sarcastic smile, true, but that didn't make her praise any less genuine.

"And thanks, prettyboy," she tossed over her shoulder as she turned to go back in. "I never thought I'd see the day where have enough grasp of the essentials to help someone else train."

"Any time," said Shishi flippantly, choosing to ignore the barb, mostly because he couldn't think of anything to throw back at her.

"Now both of you get on in here. I made lunch."

* * *

"It just helps cement my belief that all demons are complete and utter nitwits."

Yukina had turned the lunchtime conversation back to the political situation in Demon World, and it was Genkai's turn to weigh in.

"Of course," she added after a moment's deliberation, "so are all humans."

"Ah," said Yukina with a smile, "So  _no_  present company is excluded?"

Genkai hesitated for an instant. "The jury's still out on that one," she answered with a flip of her hand. "I may have had a chance to outgrow that phase."

"So nitwittery is a state of life?" asked Shishi. "I was more under the impression that you thought of it as a communicable disease, or possibly a heritable trait."

"It is," said Genkai instantly. "All of the above, and then some. Unfortunately, the three people who weren't born with it have already contracted it, and almost no one lives long enough to outgrow it."

"Even in Demon World?" Shishi couldn't quite hide the smirk.

" _Especially_  in Demon World, nitwit. It takes a hell of a lot longer for near-immortals like you, and you have this habit of getting yourselves killed before you have a chance to learn from your mistakes."

"But everything does seem to be turning out for the better," said Yukina, ever the peacemaker. Not that it ever helped.

Genkai snorted. "Yusuke was born with a double dose of nitwit, from  _both_  worlds. He was just  _also_  born with more good luck than most small nations are allotted, and seems hell-bent on using it up as fast as possible."

For an instant, Shishi pictured Yusuke's spirit gun as powered by luck instead of spirit energy, and almost snickered at the image. Instead, he nodded sagely.

"Indeed, I suppose it would require a double nitwit to ever think it was a good idea to settle worldwide politics with a winner-takes-all fistfight."

"And a master of serendipity to actually pull it off—and even then, only because he was trying to convince an entire world full of other nitwits."

"I don't suppose saying I only participated because I was bored would save me any face?"

She snorted again. "Not likely."

"Do you think more demons will want to live here?" asked Yukina, still trying to tone down the verbal sparring match.

"Could be," said Genkai, relenting. "I've known plenty of demons in my time, and some of them would really be more suited for Human World. Then again, I've known humans who might very well have fit in in Demon World." For a moment, her eyes went distant.

"I wonder if anyone we know will come?" Yukina's voice was just the tiniest bit too cheerful as she tried to pull Genkai back.

Genkai smiled, looking back at her. "Perhaps, child. Then again, with the barrier down, there aren't really any obstacles to having friendships between the worlds."

"Which reminds me," said Shishi, "what are your thoughts on the level of nitwittery in Spirit World?"

Genkai nearly choked on her snort.

"Oh, don't  _even_  get me started!"

* * *

Shishi yawned as he got ready for bed, the night's waning crescent of a moon providing barely enough illumination even for his demon sight.

His mind was still working on the one dilemma he'd found while living here.

The longer he stayed, the harder it was to imagine living anywhere else, or with anyone else. How could he go back to living away from her constant snark and verbal sparring?

For the first time in his life, he was able to think of some place as "home".

Except that, really, it  _wasn't_.

It was hers, and he was only a visitor in her life. She had only to say it, and he would find himself adrift again.

Shishi sighed and flopped onto the bed, closing his eyes and doing his best not to think about that unpalatable possibility, with limited success.

She didn't trust him, couldn't bring herself to believe that he was honestly in love with her.

Shishi threw his arm across his eyes.

It wasn't like he could blame her for that. It was still hard for him to face the word. Even after he had become entirely certain of the meaning behind it…the word itself was still intimidating.

In Demon World, love was something to be feared, something that made people do foolish, risky things, like pledging your life to someone, trusting that they would never turn around and stab you in the back. Or else someone else would learn of the bond, and use one of the pair to force the other into a corner. Either way, that kind of trust usually ended badly for those involved.

So, no, he couldn't exactly blame her for not putting her trust in him.

But he wanted it, more than he'd ever wanted anything in his life.

Shishi rolled over, determined to ignore everything and just sleep—and to keep ignoring it tomorrow, and just enjoy the day as it came.

Something was prickling gently at the back of his mind, but he pushed it away and let the blessed thoughtlessness of sleep surround him.

* * *

An idea had been growing on him.

That odd prickling had kept coming back over the next few days, insistently making its presence known, until it had forced him to recognize its identity as an idea.

It was a  _stupid_  idea.

Shishi dismissed the idea instantly the first time it made itself known, brushing it aside while questioning his own sanity, and went on with his day.

And then it popped up again.

No, no, still a stupid idea. Go away.

It did, but it didn't stay away. The foolish idea kept coming back, dancing around his futile attempts to banish it like Genkai dancing around his futile blows in sparring.

After a week of steadfastly ignoring the idea, Shishi finally recognized something.

He'd done this before.

Trying to ignore or avoid an idea that just wouldn't go away? That was exactly what he'd been doing the entire time the six fighters had been training.

Well, hell.

Still, the alternative was actually  _acting_  on the foolish idea, which was out of the question.

Maybe this time, it would just go away.

* * *

Another week later, he found himself standing at Kurama's door.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He raised his hand to knock, and then let it drop—the third time he'd tried.

Why the  _hell_  was he here?

He knew the answer well enough, of course, but it felt better to grumble about it. If he feigned ignorance, then he wouldn't have to take responsibility for this stupid, foolish idea.

Last time, he'd hidden his stupid idea until it was forced out of him, and it felt like it had nearly killed him in the process. This time, he was going to learn from his mistake, and get some advice before this new stupid idea burst out of him, while he was only  _almost_  being nearly killed by it.

Or at least, that was the idea.

Now that it actually came down to it, he was strongly considering just clamming up until he burst again.

He raised his hand decisively.

And let it hang there.

Decisively.

Why wasn't his hand knocking?

Oh, right.

He actually had to move it.

Right then, Shishi never could figure out if it was "fortunately" or "unfortunately", the door opened, and Kurama's redheaded form was looking out at him. Shishi belated realized that he'd probably felt his demon energy from a block away.

If the fox was surprised, he hid it well.

"Good morning, Shishiwakamaru. Is there something I can help you with?"

Shishi folded his arms, trying to look nonchalant and mostly just succeeding in looking nervous.

"I was hoping for some more information."

Kurama studied him, and then called back over his shoulder, "Mother, a friend's come to visit. I'll be back in a little while."

After receiving an acknowledgement, he closed the door behind him and gestured to Shishi.

As they started walking, Kurama asked, "And what were you curious about this time?"

Every word that Shishi had ever learned seemed to drain away through some suddenly-opened grate in the bottom of his mind.

What the hell was he supposed to say now?

With a supreme effort of will, and lips that were suddenly made out of sandpaper, Shishi managed to pull three relevant ones back out.

"Human marriage customs."

Holy HELL, had he just said that out loud? He was a bigger nitwit than Yusuke. He should really just find the least awkward escape route and head for the hills.

Kurama stopped walking.

Shishi scowled at the ground, but held it. It was too late to leave now.

And besides, he'd be damned if he'd gone to all this trouble not to get an answer now.

"I see." The redhead resumed walking.

"May I ask..." Kurama considered his words, "who…inspired this interest?"

Dammit, he was  _not_  going to make this easy.

Shishi licked his lips. Already past one point of no return…

"Genkai."

…and another.

The redhead's eyebrows disappeared into his hair at that, but as he considered it, he slowly nodded.

"I see."

This time Shishi stopped walking.

"Well?" he demanded, doing his best to act like the fox owed him an answer. It beat the alternatives, anyway.

Kurama considered.

"I would need to know a great deal more about the situation before I could even consider offering an opinion."

_If you want my advice, you'll have to satisfy my curiosity._

Shishi scowled harder.

Dammit.

* * *

After he had explained far, far more than he ever wanted to, he waited to hear Kurama's opinion.

The fox, of course, took his sweet time answering.

Shishi crossed his arms again, tapping his foot in impatience.

Not nervousness.

No, he was just impatient.

Finally, the fox spoke.

"I cannot predict her reaction based on what you have told me."

Shishi growled.

"However…"

Kurama smiled.

"It can't hurt to try."

* * *

That was how Shishi came to find himself clutching a little velvet box and feeling like a complete idiot.

Why in any of the three worlds had he decided to act on this?

It was an incredibly  _stupid_  idea, and it could  _definitely_  hurt to try. What if she said no?

…what if she said  _yes?_

That thought spurred him onward.

He just had to find the perfect moment.

* * *

"What took you so long?"

"Nothing."

"Hmph. I was beginning to think you'd left for good."

Her tone held its usual gruffness, but…was that an undercurrent of relief?

"Of course not. I just had some…business to attend to."

"Heh. Care to share with the rest of the class?"

Shishi smiled.

"Perhaps later. But wasn't I running late for something?"

In response, the woman took up a defensive pose.

"Indeed."

* * *

It was a good match, leaving them both exhausted.

They had actually fought it to a draw—the first time Genkai hadn't won outright.

"Heh," panted Genkai, "either you've gotten better, or I'm getting old."

"It's definitely me," said Shishi, equally breathless.

She aimed a punch at him.

"What can I say? I've had a great teacher."

Genkai's hand stopped in midair, like she wasn't sure what to make of him.

"You're not my student anymore."

"Well, that's fortunate."

She narrowed her eyes at him, not sure where he was going with this.

Shishi put on his best debonair expression, willing it to keep the fluttering in his stomach at bay.

"You were wondering where I was earlier?"

Slowly, she nodded.

Shishi rose to his feet, and then dropped down on one knee in front of her.

Disbelief flooded her features…disbelieve, and…anticipation?

Shishi reached into the deep pocket where the box had been safely hiding, and slowly pulled it out.

"Genkai..." he said, carefully opening the box and holding it out to her. "I would be honored…if you would marry me."

She stared at it, and then at him, utterly speechless.

Shishi held his breath.

"Shishi…" She shook her head in disbelief. "You…really  _weren't_  kidding."

"No. I meant every word, and I'm not going to  _stop_ meaning it."

"You mean…you want…" She lifted a hand trying to organize the words that usually flew so readily to her tongue. "Even though…"

"Yes. You. As you are."

She looked at him, his offer and request hanging in the air between them. A thousand thoughts were running behind her eyes, ranging from disbelief to uncertainty, to something that might have been wonder.

But as the roiling whirlwind started to subside, something else grew until overshadowed everything else. Exactly what was hard to say, but it seemed to fill her with a kind of brightness—something that Shishi suddenly realized should have been there all along.

Finally, she gave a shrug of careful nonchalance.

"What the hell," she said. "Yes."

It took a disbelieving instant for Shishi to process her words, and he found himself completely unable to do anything.

She was really…?

A wry smile spread over Genkai's face as she saw his reaction. "Not like I have anything better to do."

Before he could remember how to move, Genkai's resolve seemed to crystallize. She reached out and grasped the hand he still offered.

"You know, it's been far too long since I've had a partner in crime. I think…I think I might be able to get used to this."


	4. Chapter 4

"Oh! It looks like someone's almost here!"

Yukina was looking down the mountain, where two figures were making their way up the mountain.

The occasion was an engagement party—although only Kurama and Yukina knew that. Genkai had wanted to make the announcement in person, so as not to miss any of the "wonderful dumfounded looks".

Fair enough. Especially since Yukina hadn't acted  _nearly_  as surprised as she should have.

Shishi swore he had never met anyone so hard to read in his life. She'd just smiled in her gentle way and said, "I'm so glad for you!"

Was she just better at hiding surprise than anyone, or had she really seen this coming? Why would she bother acting unsurprised? How could she have anticipated something like that, especially given her professed lack of knowledge concerning human concepts of love?

In any case, her reaction was only the beginning. Now, of course, they were about to get the next set.

Yusuke's, once he finally made it to the top of the mountain, was a little more like what Shishi had been expecting.

"HAHAHA! GOOD ONE, OLD HAG! I didn't know you had it in you!"

"It's not a joke, dimwit!"

Yusuke stopped laughing with his mouth hanging open, dumbstruck.

"Dimwit!" shouted Genkai again, and before anyone could blink they were pummeling each other and yelling indistinctly.

That left the detective's companion, Keiko, watching from the sidelines with Shishi.

She turned to him, sweatdropping, and said, "Well…congratulations!" She looked more than a little unsure, though…probably not surprising, given what she must have heard about him from the tournament.

"Hn. Thank you."

He could be gracious. Of course he could. Why couldn't they just have sent a letter, again?

While the teacher and student were still fighting, Kurama arrived with the rest of his six fighters. Kurama hadn't told them anything, wishing to leave that honor to the two of them—he really was a sadistic fox, wasn't he?—so Shishi had to bear their first reactions, too.

Jin slapped him on the back. "So  _that_  be what got ye knickers in a twist! I'm 'appy for ye, lad!"

Well, that wasn't so bad…

Suzuka had looked at him like he'd lost his mind. Too be fair, that was probably not inaccurate, but still.

"You're…what, now?"

"Getting married." Shishi's lips were twisting at the questions.

"To…"

"Genkai."

Suzuka looked over at the woman, who was still beating up her student, and then looked back.

"Good luck."

After that, Touya's stoicism was a welcome relief. He simply nodded cordially and offered his congratulations. Was there some secret ice demon taboo against showing surprise?

Chu and Rinku stared at him, cocking their heads in opposite directions like a pair of bookends.

Well, a pair of bookends where one was three times taller than and twice as wide as the other, and where one was slightly drunk and the other was holding yo-yos between his toes…actually, they weren't much like bookends at all.

"Yer  _sure_  that's what ya wanna do, mate?"

Shishi made a valiant effort to suppress a scowl, only succeeding partially.

"Quite."

Chu had stared at him, and then traded looks with Rinku. Abruptly, both began to laugh uproariously.

That was only to be expected.

"Looks…like…Touya…won the bet!" chortled Rinku.

"Aye, it sure does!" snickered Chu.

That…was not.

"Wait…what? What bet?" floundered Shishi.

"Jin swore up and down that 'your wind smelled lovesick', so we had a betting pool about who it was," explained Chu.

Shishi's eye twitched.

"And…who were the choices?"

He was going to regret asking, wasn't he?

"Well," said Chu, "I guessed that one sheila from the Dark Tournament, the one with the ears." He crooked his fingers, miming the pointed ears the stood on top of Koto's head.

"You just said that 'cause you liked her! I didn't know, so I guessed the other announcer—Juri." Rinku stuck his hands behind his head and grinned.

Shishi had an eyebrow raised at both of them, but they didn't stop.

"Jin guessed that it was one of your fans who are always following you around, someone whose name we didn't know," continued Chu.

"Aye," said Jin, coming up behind them. By this time, the fight between Genkai and the dimwit had ended, and everyone was gathering in to listen. "I thought tha' maybe one of 'em had gotten to ye!"

"And, like we said, Touya voted for Genkai!" said Rinku.

"Aye, we didn't know wha' had come over 'im!" chortled Jin. "But it turns out  _ye_  were the one we oughta been wond'rin' about!"

"I hadn't planned to mention it," said Touya, his only change in expression a slight tilt of the head.

"But…" begged Rinku, "how did you  _know?_ "

Touya shrugged. "I was paying attention."

Well, hell. Apparently he hadn't been as inconspicuous as he'd hoped.

Rinku just rolled his eyes and turned back to Shishi, jumping right back into the previous topic.

"And Suzuka voted for himself!"

"Well, it could have been," said Suzuka with careful dignity. "I am very beautiful."

Shishi did his best to match his teammate's poised tone. "Not that I would dare risk denying that, but you're not quite my type."

He never had been able to get past that clown getup.

But before that particular conversation could go on any longer, it was interrupted by the arrival of the next group, which consisted of Kuwabara, the oaf's sister (whose name he couldn't remember), the detective's mother (who had apparently learned of the presence of free alcohol), and Hiei.

He was honestly quite surprised to see that last one. Hiei really didn't seem the type to voluntarily attend social events. Then again, judging by the intensity of his scowl, it might not have been voluntary at all.

Their reactions had varied at least as much as the others'.

"WHAT?!"

Kuwabara's voice might have shaken the rafters, had they not still been outside.

"Don't make me beat  _you_  up too!" snapped Genkai.

"Heh…sorry," said Kuwabara, but he still sounded sullen, glaring at Shishi…obviously still sore about the whole "Cape of No Return" incident.

Shishi smirked at the memory, which probably didn't help his case any.

Kuwabara's sister introduced herself as Shizuru. "Nice place up here. Hope you two don't destroy too much of it in the collateral damage."

Genkai chuckled.

"What fun would it be not to have a sparring partner?"

Apparently, Shizuru was also the type to believe that affection was best demonstrated through violence. Which, come to think about it, explained a lot about her brother.

Shizuru just smirked and headed off for the drink table with a slight wave.

Hiei didn't even bother talking to either of them, which was probably just as well. He just set up camp on a convenient windowsill and sat there watching everyone. Shishi found himself wondering again who could have possibly induced him to come at all.

Atsuko had headed straight for the table with the alcohol, and she had already managed to get herself quite tipsy…or had she arrived like that?

She made her way over to the couple with many an expression of congratulations and calls for toasts, filled instantly by herself.

She flung her arm around Genkai, who was rolling her eyes, and whispered, "You sure caught a cute one!" and then winked theatrically and walked off in as straight a line as she could manage.

Shishi was fairly certain he wasn't meant to hear the exchange, but he wasn't sure whether to blame humans' tendency to underestimate demon hearing, or just the fact that she was drunk.

Then he heard Keiko giggle and whisper "She's right!" to Shizuru—which made the second option seem far more likely for Urameshi's mother, though the first was probably still true for Keiko.

He felt a weird combination of the desire to preen, and the desire to get the hell away from all the awkwardness.

"Come on, you bunch of dimwits. Dinner time."

Finally.

* * *

The next few months left Shishi running ragged and cursing human traditions.

Why did this have to be so  _difficult_? Even if they wanted a ceremony, couldn't it be  _simple?_

"Nope. I've never had a wedding before, and I want it done  _properly!_ "

Shishi huffed. Fine then. If it really meant that much to her…

Not that it was all bad. For instance, Shishi found himself quite taken with the concept of dancing.

This was one human tradition that he found he was quite suited to. He'd always taken great care to present himself as a perfect gentleman, and this fit rather nicely with that image. Besides, it was ridiculously easy compared to his sword training (never mind Genkai's training)—and he found that the constantly changing motions based on the same basic patterns held enough similarity to what he'd learned to give him an edge. In fact, he requested that he learn more than just the one dance Genkai had insisted on, much to her surprise and acidly-expressed delight.

But as enjoyable as that particular preparation turned out to be, Shishi still felt that there was far too much bother about the whole process. There were bridesmaids to pick and groomsman to coerce and invitations to send and decorations to plan and colors to coordinate, and a thousand other things that didn't really matter, but apparently  _did_ , and why oh why had he ever thought this was a good idea?

But then he saw the light in her eyes, and remembered.

* * *

Genkai had just started worrying about the dress when an unexpected pair showed up for a visit.

"Kurama, Suzuka. To what do we owe the pleasure?" she asked.

Kurama smiled. "We went together to get an early wedding present."

Suzuka held out a pot with a small sapling growing in it. "It's the Previous Life Tree—the one I tried to use against him." He jabbed a thumb at the fox.

Genkai's brow furrowed, and then she cracked a sardonic half-smile as she glanced at Shishi. "Looks like he's not the only one who wants to see me in my young form."

"We thought you might find a use for it for the wedding, so we brought it early," said Kurama graciously. "If there's a good place for it, I would be happy to grow it out for you."

Genkai picked a spot right at the end of the training field, and Kurama, with a glow of purple energy, made it grow until its branches spread out over them and flowers opened above them. A single fruit grew out in front of them as Kurama finished.

"Here," said Suzuka, handing Genkai a paper. "I've worked out about what each dose ought to do by now, and included instructions on the best way to prepare it."

Genkai smiled, a more genuine one this time.

"Thanks."

* * *

That gift forced Genkai to make a few changes in her carefully-laid plans, though she didn't seem particularly upset at having to make them.

Still, almost everything else was going as it had before the unforeseen interruption.

Shishi took advantage of a quiet moment—which was being used for the apparently-vital purpose of putting small pieces of tissue paper in the invitation envelopes—to ask a question he hadn't managed to voice yet.

"Why did you say yes?"

Genkai paused to glance up at him, and then resumed her task.

"Oh, you know. Never been asked before—thought I'd see what it was like." She made a rather flippant gesture with her envelope as she set it down.

Shishi, realizing his mistake, only smiled as he picked up another piece of tissue paper.

"Well then, I suppose I'm lucky that no one thought to ask you first."

Genkai snorted.

"Damn straight."

They continued to work in a companionable silence, but Shishi hadn't really dropped the question. He was just waiting for a better moment to ask.

* * *

He got his better moment later that night, when he found Genkai under the new tree in the training area.

She was standing in the grey shadows of the moonlight, fingers barely touching the tree's rough bark, with an almost wistful expression on her face.

"Quite a gift, isn't it?" asked Shishi.

"You could say that," she said without turning around.

Shishi stepped forward beside her, running his own hand along one of the smooth branches that leapt from the gnarled trunk.

He breathed in the air around them, scented by the many flowers of the tree. It smelled faintly sweet, but tinged with something sharp and bitter. It was almost…nostalgic, somehow. The bittersweet air filled Shishi with a sense of longing for something he couldn't identify.

He let his hand fall, and the sweet silence surround them for a long moment.

"Why did you say yes?"

The corner of Genkai's mouth quirked. "Didn't I already answer that?"

Shishi shrugged. "Not really."

There was another long pause.

Shishi waited in silence for her answer. Something about how the night's dark shadows hid ordinary things made it easier to reveal the important things that normally remained hidden—either from others or from yourself.

"I don't know."

She stared at the tree as if it held all the answers, trying to force it to give them up with her eyes before giving in and speaking again.

"This really is quite the gift, you know." She pressed her palm against it. "It's…well, it's another chance at life, in a way. A chance to do the things I never did when I was younger, even while  _looking_  like my younger self." Her hand came away from the tree and clenched into a fist. "Why the hell do  _I_  get so many chances? I've already wasted more than most people ever get."

"Perhaps because you've learned to value them."

She looked at him, and he shrugged. "You say you've wasted your chances. I prefer to think that you  _did_  use them, even if not how you think you should have used them. Tell me: would you really go back and change any of your past actions? Would you really risk the person you are today for the person you  _might_ have been yesterday?"

Genkai looked back at the tree, this time focusing her gaze on one of the large white flowers that adorned it, but didn't answer.

"You're not the one who's wasted their life."

Genkai's gaze slid over to him.

"Not the one?"

Shishi chuckled humorlessly, and the bitter scent seemed to overtake the sweet.

"What would you call wasting more time than a human is  _ever_  given being nothing but an arrogant, self-entitled bastard?"

Genkai tilted her head slightly to one side, considering.

"I'd call it wasting your life."

Shishi smiled bitterly.

"I'd call it wasting your life, if that was what you had actually done."

Shishi blinked, and then turned to meet her gaze, steady as ever.

"As you've already pointed out," she continued, "you have something most people don't:  _time._  I'm already living on borrowed time, while you still have your whole life ahead of you, to make whatever use you will of the lessons you've learned. And as you  _also_  already noted, but apparently didn't think to apply to yourself, time spent learning that kind of lesson is never wasted, no matter how long it takes. Especially if they're lessons most people  _never_  learn, like how to see yourself as you are, rather than as you'd like to be."

The bitterness in the air shifted, turning into something that was still sharp, but not unpleasant, and even sweet.

The breeze and the moonlight swirled around them as they stood there, each lost in the swirl of their own thoughts, and the Previous Life Tree stood over them in timeless dispassion.

"That's why I said yes, you know."

Shishi turned back to her, not entirely sure what path her thoughts had taken in the interim.

She was contemplating her hand, not quite meeting his gaze.

"You…you, of all people…learned to see." She twisted her mouth, not entirely happy with her phrasing, but forged ahead anyway.

"You saw me when no one else did. You wanted me to have the second chance I'd already rejected." She looked up, finally meeting his eyes. "And you somehow managed to convince me to want it too."

That hung there for a few of her heartbeats before she gathered up the words to continue.

"You believed I still had more left to do in this world, and I finally came to believe it too. So when you wanted to share whatever time I have left…I found that I wanted it, too."

She inhaled her own lungful of the air filled with that liquid scent, and Shishi found himself wondering what it was like for her, whether she tasted more of the bitter or the sweet.

"And even if I wasn't sure how much of me you really wanted, I didn't want to say no."

Her head was slightly bowed, and the air became filled with a palpable longing, almost a taste. It was less sharp than regret, but still held that tang of bitterness.

Shishi moved hesitantly, stepping a little closer as he turned to face her.

"I told you, I want you as you are. Whatever of yourself that you'll let me have."

Gently, he brushed the side of her face with his fingers. Her skin might not be as smooth as it had once been, but it still held a warmth that made his hand tingle after the cool might air. "And you can have whatever of me you care to take." He let his hand fall to hers, and brought it up between them. He bowed slightly, and brushed his lips over the back of her hand. "If you'll have me."

She was staring at him, and the scent of the flowers seemed to waver, trembling between bitter and sweet, and overlaid with something like the air right before a rainstorm.

Her foot slipped backward, but she caught herself. She planted her foot back where it had started, not wanting to retreat, not quite able to step forward.

Still holding her hand in his, Shishi closed a little more of the gap between them.

"May I?" he asked softly.

She still didn't quite believe him, didn't quite believe that he could really want this, could really want  _her_.

Shishi leaned forward, closing the last of the distance between them, and kissed her.

Genkai stood frozen, unable to work up any reaction at all.

But when Shishi pulled away, head bowed, she reached after him.

Her hand found his arm, keeping him from moving further away, and then lifted towards his face, not quite meeting it.

Shishi leaned in again, and this time when his lips met hers, she responded.

Her hand finally met his face, still unsure, but there, warm and real.

Shishi let go of the hand he had still been holding, and wrapped his arm instead around her smaller form, letting his hand come to rest under her shoulder, as though they were about to dance.

Her body still held the strength she'd earned over the years—she was the strongest person he had ever met. So where had this terrible uncertainty come from? How long had she felt herself unworthy of being wanted?

Genkai's newly free hand found its way to the back of his head, and she ran her fingers over his hair, her touch hesitant and doubtful.

Despite her caution, his hair came free of the band that held it, and tumbled willingly into her grasp.

The night breeze picked up again, but its chill couldn't reach between them. All it could do was lift Shishi's hair around their faces, shielding them from the watching eye of the moon as they stood together under the tree of life.


	5. Chapter 5

The day of the wedding dawned overcast and cloudy.

"It better clear up by later. I don't want to have to move inside," griped Genkai, standing on the porch and glaring up at the sky.

"And did somebody request a fair wind?" came a familiar Irish brogue from above.

They both looked up to see Jin sitting crosslegged in midair, grinning down at them. "An' here I was thinkin' I'd have nothing to give ye! Clear skies, comin' right up!" And with that he dove up into the clouds, blowing them around with great gusts of wind.

They both stood staring up after him for a moment.

"Well, that was unexpected," said Genkai finally. "I suppose you do have useful friends."

"Apparently," said Shishi, not quite sure how to react.

True to his word, by the time the guests started arriving, Jin had completely cleared the sky of clouds. He landed in front of them with a bit of a flourish. "There ye are! Happy…marryin' day, or whatever ye're supposed to say!"

There were a few presents piled on one of the tables, but some of the guests, like Jin, brought something that couldn't be wrapped. Kurama and Suzuka, of course, had already brought the tree, and Genkai had already used the fruit to make herself an anti-aging potion, though she hadn't used it yet.

Both Chu and Atsuko (who had shown up again, for some reason) brought gifts of alcohol. Touya had wrapped up the winnings from the betting pool and offered that, saying that they should have it.

Yukina (already dressed in her pink bridesmaid's gown) gave them matching Hiruseki necklaces, saying that they were tears shed for Genkai's death. Hiei had seemed more grouchy than usual about that—though he, of course, had not brought a gift. Shishi couldn't figure out why he was there at all.

For the most part, though, the unwrapped presents were the best—and sometimes the most surprising.

Yusuke, for his part, had managed to split the spirit orb in half, and offered one of the halves back to Genkai. "It's not like I really need it so much anymore, not with the whole Mazoku thing." He tried to pretend like it was no big deal, but Genkai's face told Shishi everything he needed to know about the magnitude of the gift.

When she took the energy back—she had no trouble absorbing what had been hers already—she seemed to stand a little straighter, her eyes a little brighter.

And then there was Koenma's gift.

Apparently it paid to have friends in high places.

Koenma (in his teenage form for the occasion) had come up to them and offered his congratulations.

"Although I admit it was a little…unexpected, I wish you both well." He turned, and then paused. "Oh, and I had a gift, one that wouldn't exactly fit on the table. I offer the gift of time." He smiled, and turned to Genkai. "I can guarantee you an extra decade of life, and with Yusuke's gift, not to mention your enviable health, I shouldn't have to see you in an official capacity for quite some time."

Those two gifts served to make the day even brighter for Shishi. The prospect of Genkai's imminent human mortality had been a dark cloud on their horizon, and having it pushed back, nearly out of sight, was the best possible gift he could have received, even if they were ostensibly meant for her.

"Hrmph, everyone's trying to cut off my best escape route…"

But the corner of her mouth was twitching, and she looked almost smug.

"Did you really think you could get away from me that easily?"

Of course he had to be arrogant, just as she had to be cantankerous. That was the way it went.

"Try me, prettyboy."

* * *

It was almost time for the ceremony.

Genkai had gone off all too long ago to get ready, complaining all the while about how long it would take.

Shishi had wisely kept silent about simply dispensing with most of the preparations…he'd tried that during the planning phase, and things hadn't gone well. He shuddered at the memory.

"Nervous?"

Kurama, his best man, was standing there watching him, lips twitching in amusement. He, like the other groomsmen, was wearing a suit with a blue bow tie. Unlike the other groomsmen, he hadn't had to be coerced into wearing it.

"Of course not," said Shishi automatically. Not that it was completely true.

"Of course not," Kurama echoed, nodding. "Are you ready?"

Shishi glanced down. He was wearing a black version of his normal samurai robes—a compromise between the tuxedo he absolutely refused to wear, and the white robes that Genkai had refused to let him wear—and his hair was down for the occasion.

It had taken him less than three minutes to get ready, so why on earth did it take her so long?

"Yes," he said, finally remembering to answer Kurama's question.

"Good, because it's almost time."

Shishi's stomach tied itself in an impressive display of at least three different types of knots.

"Good thing I'm not nervous," he muttered.

"What was that?"

"I said, 'lead the way'," Shishi lied, straightening up and trying to look haughty.

* * *

A small set of chairs was set up outside the temple—in fact, in the same training area where Shishi had proposed.

Kurama guided Shishi to his place under the Previous Life Tree, facing the chairs, and then left to join the other groomsmen. Shishi stood there next to Koenma, feeling increasingly awkward.

Koenma had agreed to officiate the ceremony, saying that they couldn't possibly get anyone better, which Shishi had reluctantly had to admit was true. Still, that didn't make it any less awkward to stand next to the toddler-turned-teenager as the few guests who weren't actually in the wedding party took their seats.

Still, it didn't take long before the music started.

Genkai had put Yusuke and Kuwabara in charge of the tape player, promising dire consequences should either of them get any funny ideas.

Shishi straightened up as the wedding party started down the aisle, beginning with Touya escorting Yukina. (Genkai had insisted on organizing everyone by height.) They came up, and parted, and were followed in even succession by Suzuka and Hinageshi (Genkai had complained that she really didn't have enough female friends who hadn't already died of old age, before finally remembering the young ferry girl whom she'd met all of once), Jin and Keiko (Jin grinned annoyingly at Yusuke, which might have ended badly if Keiko hadn't leveled a glare that rivaled the Spirit Gun—the demonic version—at the both of them), and Chu and Botan (by this time, any pretense at keeping heights even had to be dropped). Then Kurama escorted Shizuru (whom Genkai had finally picked as her maid of honor, since Yukina was barely even familiar with the concept of weddings) up the aisle, and then Rinku followed, grinning lopsidedly, with the rings, and the bridal party stood complete…except for the bride.

Shishi looked up, and his breath caught on his throat.

There she stood, bright pink hair cascading down her shoulders, a thin veil quivering in the breeze.

He suddenly found that he didn't mind all the time she'd spent getting ready…she was absolutely radiant.

There was a brief scuffle for the tape player, and then Kuwabara turned it to a rousing rendition of "Here Comes the Bride", and Genkai started forward.

No one escorted her.

As much of a traditionalist as she had been on other matters, she had refused to have anyone play that role.

"No one's giving me away," she had griped. "I'm jumping into this idiotic idea with both feet."

The memory made Shishi smile. She might pretend not to like the idea…but there was no doubt in his mind that she was doing exactly what she wanted to do.

As she came closer, Shishi could see the intricate braids that wrapped around the crown of her head, interwoven with a garland of cherry blossoms—which had to be another gift from Kurama, since they were months out of season.

Finally, she arrived under the tree and stood on the other side of Koenma.

Yusuke and Kuwabara somehow managed to get the music stopped without breaking anything, and Koenma started speaking.

"Friends, we are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of..."

Shishi mostly tuned out his words. They seemed a tad on the sappy side for a relationship that had started with a battle to the death.

But Koenma hadn't forgotten that either, he realized, as part of his opening words trickled down into Shishi's consciousness.

"…a love that has grown unexpectedly out of violence and fierceness."

Shishi smiled, showing a few teeth.

Koenma kept on talking, saying things about eternal love and devotion and fulfillment in life and it was all Shishi could do not to roll his eyes.

Then his gaze caught Genkai's, and she  _did_  roll her eyes.

After that, it was all he could do not to laugh until the Koenma's address was finally over.

That wasn't the end of the sickening sweetness, though. Both Keiko and Botan had felt the need to select passages on the meaning of love to read to the assembly. Keiko had reminded Genkai that such readings were, in fact,  _traditional._  Genkai had finally agreed, with much eye-rolling on her part, and much squealing on the part of her bridesmaids.

Between Botan's reading and Keiko's, though, was one tradition that was slightly more interesting.

"With this Unity Candle, the couple will show their intent to join their lives together by joining the flames of their candles."

Shishi and Genkai each took the lit candle that Kurama and Shizuru, respectively, offered them, and as Koenma said yet more words about love and unity, they brought the flames together over the wick of the larger candle.

A single flame leapt up on the wick.

Shishi stared at the flame as Koenma droned on, and then he looked up at her.

With a slight smile, he raised his hand.

She copied his motion, and they touched hands, palms together.

This was  _his_  contribution the ceremony. Demon World didn't have weddings, as such, but some did join into long-term relationships that were roughly equivalent to marriages. There were few rituals associated with such relationships, but there was this one.

Then Shishi let a little spiral of energy, barely visible, escape from his hand, and she did the same. Their energies swirled together around their joined hands, her blue spirit energy twining with his own red demon energy, much like the flame on the candle.

In the Makai, merging energies with someone was an unambiguous statement of closeness.

Then Koenma finished whatever sappy thing he'd been saying, and they parted for Keiko's reading—a poem about the nature of undying love that didn't even properly fit its own meter.

Once  _that_  ordeal was over, it was time for the vows.

Good thing he wasn't nervous.

It was her turn first.

"Do you, Genkai, take this man to be your husband? Do you promise to love, honor, and cherish him, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph, in plenty and in want, for as long as you both shall live?"

She hesitated for a fraction of a second that felt like forever.

"I do."

Shishi couldn't stop smiling, in a mixture of triumph and wonder.

"Then take this ring and repeat after me: 'With this ring I thee wed and with all I am and all I have I honor thee.'"

She took his left hand, repeating the words as she slipped the ring on his finger.

Then it was his turn.

"Do you, Shishiwakamaru, take this woman to be your wife? Do you promise to love, honor, and cherish her, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph, in plenty and in want, for as long as you both shall live?"

He looked directly into her eyes, and somehow managed to say the words that joined them together.

"I do."

"Then take this ring…"

He took the ring that Kurama handed him, and took Genkai's warm hand in his own.

 _Left hand…ring finger…_ he reminded himself.

"With this ring I thee wed and with all I am and all I have I honor thee."

Had he managed to say all the words right?

"Then by the power vested in me by Spirit World, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

Koenma looked at him and smiled.

"You may now kiss the bride."

To the cheers and applause of the audience, Shishi picked her up and spun her around as their lips met.

* * *

The reception was held in the courtyard between the main building and the visitors' quarters, where a number of tables had been set up, leaving room on one side for dancing.

The dancing, indeed, was one of the first of the reception traditions, and was definitely the one Shishi had been looking forward to the most.

The first dance was theirs alone, an expansive waltz that allowed for their difference in heights. As he lead the dance, Shishi reflected that it was probably the only time she'd followed him anywhere—and probably the only time she ever would.

The next one Genkai danced with Yusuke, as the closest thing to a relative she had, while Shishi, who had nothing even that close, danced with her maid of honor.

Shizuru smiled conversationally. "You know, I really don't have any idea what's come over her…but I trust her judgment. Just don't make me regret that, ok? Otherwise, I might have to hurt you."

He shouldn't be intimidated by the unpowered human in front of him. He really shouldn't.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

No need to make enemies, after all.

She searched his face, which made it a great deal more difficult to focus on not running into anything, and finally nodded, close enough to satisfied.

"All right then. Lovely weather, isn't it?"

Oh, good. A truce. Granted, a truce he hadn't even known he needed until a moment ago, but he'd take it.

"Indeed, thanks to Jin…"

* * *

The dancing was followed by more traditions, most of which had to be explained to half their guests.

There was the tossing of the bouquet, which Keiko caught (probably Genkai's intention, actually), and of the garter, which Shishi privately thought was an even stupider tradition. Yusuke had bowled Jin out of the way to get that one—not that Jin had any particular interest in the thing; he just liked the competition and had the best vantage point. But once he'd understood the point of the thing, he'd laughed uproariously and agreed that it was probably for the best that Urameshi got it.

Then there were the toasts, which confused those of their non-human guests who had gotten around to learning what "toast" was, and couldn't figure out what that had to do with wine glasses. Guesses ranged from a type of alcohol made out of bread, to a type of spread made out of alcohol to put on toast, to a type of alcohol made out of bread, and then turned into a spread to put on toast. That last one was Rinku's contribution, to no one's surprise.

Once that confusion was out of the way, the actual toasts didn't take long. Kurama gave a highly edited version of how he had come to offer his approval to this inane plan (a version, Shishi was glad to note, that made him seem far less of an idiot than he'd actually been). Shizuru's was even shorter, mostly consisting of congratulating Genkai on  _finally_ getting this ticked off her to-do list.

Then, of course, there was cake. No one needed  _that_ one explained.

The cake itself was another gift from Suzuka, whose creative tendencies apparently extended to the kitchen. He was a quick study, too, when he became obsessed with something new—he'd only learned the science of cakebaking since he'd learned of the upcoming wedding. Shishi had known of this tendency since their time as teammates, but he'd never expected the other demon's interest to be caught by something so…human. Still, he'd find a new obsession soon enough, leaving him with another random skill in his inventory.

The cake-cutting marked the beginning of the end of the thing, while the actual end was marked by yet another tradition that made little enough sense on its own, but was downright stupid in this particular setup.

Namely, everyone threw birdseed at them while the two of them made their grand exit—which was stupid because they weren't  _going_  anywhere. No, they were staying right here—though Genkai had hinted that she might be up for a grand tour of Demon World at some point.

Everyone  _else_  was getting ready to leave, so why couldn't they throw stuff at  _them_?

Still, Shizuru (acting either as conscientious maid of honor or bossy older sister, Shishi couldn't figure out which) made sure that everyone helped with the cleanup. No one challenged her authority, in any case.

But finally, they waved goodbye to the last guest, and Yukina insisted that she could finish up what little was left of the cleanup, and they found themselves alone by the sharp drop-off that stood above the wide expanse of the temple's grounds.

This wonderful place she'd allowed him to share.

The Previous Life potion had long since worn off, but it didn't matter. She was still beautiful, cherry blossoms still twined in her now-greying hair.

Besides, as beautiful as she was in her younger form, this was more  _her._  This was the woman he had, however reluctantly, fallen in love with.

Genkai turned away from the landscape and smiled at him with a smile that was only slightly sardonic.

"What do you say, one more dance before it gets dark?"

Shishi smiled and bowed graciously.

"Of course, my lady."

They joined hands and stepped easily into the dance, a faster one this time. All those months of sparring had given each an instant feel for the other's rhythm, without needing music to set it for them.

Indeed, their dances had gained a rather more martial feel to them than their creators had probably intended, with sharper edges and more aggressive motions than were strictly necessary.

Still, however aggressive it might have seemed, the dance was, more than anything, a tangible expression of the one thing he'd wanted so badly to be worthy of, what he'd finally, somehow, received from her.

Her trust.

Despite everything he'd done, everything that really should have convinced her that he was an irredeemable narcissist, she had, for some unfathomable reason, come to trust him. As dearly as he'd desired it, he was still surprised that his wish had come true.

But here they were, dancing on the edge of a cliff, and she trusted him not to lead her off the edge.

"Penny for your thoughts, prettyboy." Her hair whipped around her face as she spun around.

Shishi smiled. "Just wondering how we got here."

Genkai laughed. "Mostly by being a couple of irredeemable idiots who decided they might be able to stand each other after all."

Shishi's smile widened as he took her other hand for a complicated turn.

"I suppose we are."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Many thanks to my wonderful beta Graphospasm and early reviewers The Countess of Monte Cristo and Stardust Imaginings, for believing I could actually pull this off—you guys are the best!
> 
> And thanks to my brother, who (despite his misgivings) gave me the plot point about the Previous Life Tree. Thanks!


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